Late Regrets [and stuff]

"Take my job, then." She said this before answering, a little excitedly, chin up and voice loud. She caught the glance of those surrounding them, and she lowered her head as the waitress walked up in the subsequent silence. "Thank you," she said politely and quietly, and when she was completely and walked away, Lotte continued in a whisper: "Take my slot, and I'll..." Go home? Buy a house? The end of that sentence caught her like a hook, and her mouth was left suspended. It was either her or him. And that'd be if he'd accept the offer.

He laughed a little under his breath. If only the solution were that simple as she had started to make it sound. A sorry smile showed itself as he looked at her. "And then you'll... what?" Jason asked, subtly clenching his fist together. "Be sent off to God-knows-where? That wouldn't help anyone and we'd still never see each other." The young man shot his gaze out towards the window. "Your place is here and mine is apparently in Europe." It fucking sucked to all hell to be going across the world all alone. Hell, if he could take her with him, he wouldn't mind the company. But it wasn't his call.

"Just..." It eas hard to argue. It was impossible to argue. She looked down at her plate, no longer feeling hungry, the pit of her stomach a void unwelcoming to food. She ignored it, cutting into her meal. "Whatever, nevermind. I understand." I love you, I love you, I hate you. She bit her lip. I hate you. I hate you.

"I forgot to take a picture of it." She stared at the piece she had cut off, raised slightly, and smiled meekly at it. He told her not to do it, and she was thinking of doing it anyway, in rebellion. She forgot. It was their last meal together, and she forgot.

No, no, that would not be the mindset anymore. She forced her smile to widen, thinning out like a water across her face.

He had a feeling that he should say more on the subject, but she seemed to dismiss it immediately, turning to her food instead and leaving him looking at her rather uncertainly as she cut inter her food. Before she even moved to take a bit though, she paused, seemingly distressed she'd forgotten to take a picture of the bland plate. "Didn't I tell you to not to anyways?" He smiled half-heartedly, starting to poke at his own plate, but it was increasingly more difficult by the moment to ignore the thick atmosphere.

He glanced up. Although she seemed to be smiling even more, it was easier to see that there was still something wrong. "Lotte," The blond sighed. "Are you alright?" He didn't want one of the last memories he had of her for a while to be the sight of her almost crying over a plate of cheap pasta. "Look, I'll make it up to you somehow. Just tell me what to do, anything..." Fuck if he knew what else he could say.

"I'm fine, I..." She laughed a fake laugh and abruptly stood, the scoot of the chair causing the restaurant to go silent, and eyes bore into her as she said, "You know what, I...I just remembered I have something with a student I've been training. Her name is Maddie, she's really sweet, I don't want to keep her waiting, I..." Her smile wobbled. "Thanks for this, really." And like that, she walked out, briskly, head down. She knocked into a table, silverware clacking, and her low apology was drowned out by the resuming environment as she made her way out the door, and into the air.

In a completely timely manner, Jason watched with unease as she stood up surprisingly, causing a few in the restaurant to turn their heads and watch the both of them as she began to ramble off about a student of hers or something. She was talking in such a rushed, fretted manner he hadn't completely caught everything she was saying. "What are you...?" He said in a low town, trying to get a word or two in so they could both settle down again, but she was already thanking him, leaving in a hurried mess.

Shit, what was wrong with her? Was it something he said? He was up and on his feet just as she was fleeing out the door, taking the first few bills he could grab out of the front his wallet and tossing them carelessly onto the table. Jace rushed out of the restaurant, swinging the door open and glancing around.

Thank God, she didn't seem to get too far and he shot after her. "Lotte!" The young man shot an arm out, grabbing onto her wrist before she could flee any further. "What the hell was that about? You're just going to leave me like that?!" His golden eyes stared her down, searching for any sort of answer.

Through Lotte's attempts to storm away, she was surprised that she was not fast enough, and his hand wrapped around her wrist; the arm of the robotic hand. It hugged the border between her skin and the metal that clung to it, two different sensations. She breathed. She turned. The girl looked up at him, and overwhelmed with bitter emotion, a wave the size of the sky rushing to erupt from her mouth, she cried. She wept and pressed her face into his shirt, and breathed and hated him. She really, really hated him.

"I love you," she said. "Don't go, I love you, please..." She gripped his uniform, exhaled in a flurry of sniffs and cried some more. It was a photograph, a bake sale, a day by the pool, a walk through the courtyard. A mental breakdown, hospitalization, pain and hope and Jace, she called his name, Jace, Jace. It was reaching for him and grabbing his hand, only for it to wretch itself so violently from her. She was so close, but he was always so far. This hand she longed to hold would always stretch for the face of Evelyn, or whatever girl he struck the heart of. Anyone that wasn't her. She hated him because she couldn't stop loving him.

The old Autumn looked completely mortified as she burst into tears and was at a complete loss for words. He wasn't sure what to do and could only watch, standing rather awkwardly as she turned and clung to him, burying her face in his chest and uttered those three sad words that he had been dreading. Pity swept over him, thinking how pathetic she looked, and he couldn't help but feel entirely guilty for causing her to feel the way she did.

At the same time, she was still one of the closest friends he thought he had at the school and felt touched at the same. Jason sighed, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. "I'm so sorry," He murmured softly, letting her weep to her heart's content. And there they stood like that for some time. When the moment felt right, Jace pulled away, reaching one hand up and brushing the raven black locks out of her eyes and nimbly wiping the tears from her cheek. "It'll be alright. Please, stop crying."

Lotte seemed to have recovered a bit after those moments. She gave a shaky breath, and after he did it first, took charge of wiping her eyes. "Will it?" she murmured, "Sorry, I'm sorry, but will it be all right?" She laughed an awkward laugh, a teary-eyed one that seemed out of place for someone who just cried. "I think it's safe to say I made our friendship a little harder..." Why did she have to say that? Her cheeks were red and her mind was heavy, and she looked up at him. "Please don't tell Evelyn, oh please don't, I love her..." She was an awful friend. Maybe this was why she kept it down so long.

Jason smiled breathlessly along with her, although his gaze had turned soft and it was all too clear his quiet laughter was for nothing but her sake, to try and help her feel better. It was so strange seeing her so distraught, he thought, and she looked so much prettier when she was her normal, spunky self. "It will be," The young man said firmly, brushing a few more stray strands out of her face before he thought about what he was doing. "I'm glad you told me." Better than she said so herself to him rather than to go on pretending he had no clue, thanks to her sister. Although he did his best to hide it, he was touched. There had been several times between them when, well...

The blond blinked as she went on, his thoughts interrupted, and the smallest pain hit his temple. Evelyn. Of course, there was no way he could imagine her taking the news all too well, especially since the three of them were all friends. 'I love her too,' Jace nearly said, but then they both knew that already. Instead he muttered, "Don't worry, I won't."

He was probably just as bad of a friend, if not worse. But her feelings wouldn't frighten him off. She'd apparently waited so long just to see him again, he could do that much for her. Jason leaned in slowly, planting a soft kiss across her cheek, still flushed red and tear stained. "You know, you're a big girl now. You can come visit me whenever you want." Jace couldn't help but add in a teasing tone.