Eyes Unclouded [Closed]

Calm down? Calm down? How could he calm down? He took her precious time when she healed him over some stupid fucking wounds that he had dealt with before! Hell there were a couple times he ended up in the hospital because of how bad things have gotten before. A knife wound? Nothing. Cuts and scrapes from falling debris? It felt like just a simple tripping and falling to him. Burns, slightly worse but he could till handle it. What Adeline healed with was nothing to worry about to him just small things, but the fact that these nothings took time from her? It pissed him off beyond belief.

He knew he needed to calm down or all of the pent up aggression from being angry was going to expel in for of danger from his gift. He clinched his teeth together tightly, biting back any harsh words that he might have wanted to use typically when he was with anyone else. He didn't need to destroy this place as well.. He didn't need to damage the school the nightmares he got from the airport were already enough as is. He pushed his gift to act in a different manner but he wasn't sure what he was going to get.

His eyes returned to what was in front of him when he felt someone take his hand. His gray green eyes looked to the girl who had a hold of his hand, but her eyes weren't focused on him instead they were focused on the palm of his hand. Her finger gently traced letters into the palm of his hand, and it took him a moment to figure out each one. I'm sorry? What she was apologizing for he wasn't too sure. There were far too many things that had happened. He wasn't too sure anymore. There was probably things he needed to apologize about too, but he wasn't too sure what those were. He wasn't sure about a lot of things anymore. All he knew is that he didn't want his friend to run out of time.

When he finally found his words he wasn't even aware his voice had changed as a result of his gift acting up. "Why... why would you waste your time on wounds as minor as those?" He didn't realize that he was speaking in his best friend's voice. His other hand curled tightly into a fist. "I'm not someone important who needs to be healed all the time. Hell I get into stupid shit all the time, it's not worth wasting your time.." He said. He probably wasn't making too much sense or just repeating things. His mind was just a bit scrambled, and he couldn't exactly think straight, and the anger he was feeling was just making it worse.

She wasn't sure, but her grip tightened around his fingers. Those weren't minor wounds, not at all. How could he say that as though it were an everyday activity? Nobody should have to get used to it at all. They were harmful and brought pain to those who were inflicted with it; it caused more suffering than Magic was willing to admit. She knew what she was doing each and every time. It wasn't like it was an involuntary gesture. If she could help someone out, then why shouldn't she? That felt so wrong, to just ignore the fact that a person was there with wounds and bleeding out and being subjected to pain, and fully knowing that she could do something about it and simply walking away. No way she could do that, even if it was going to strip her own life apart, piece by piece. In the end, it wasn't much or anything to worry about for her. They never found out about these things somehow.

How they couldn't ever figure it out was always something that shocked her. Kearn and Callum always found the need to point out that she was terrible at acting and lying, that she was as transparent as stained glass with the warm sun shining through the pieces and illuminating the colors a bit more. They caught on very easily without fail and were quick to stop her from doing something that they said put her in danger. Perhaps it was very unfair of her to compare others to them, though. Those two knew her better than most, almost at the back of their hands, because she had known them for a very long time. The same could be said to how she could figure Kearn out, not so much Callum. She couldn't ever tell what he was thinking.

Magic... she couldn't understand why he was so mad either. He would do the same if he had these powers. Why he considered it a waste of time, she wasn't sure either. It wasn't a waste. Everyone else could put her time to better use than she ever could, and besides, she would die from something else one day. She was susceptible to those sort of things. It'd be something silly, like tripping and winding up on the curb while a car comes, speeding and crashing in. Or maybe it would be falling off a ladder or losing her balance when sitting on the tree branch at home. That was the inevitable. At least then, death would come in almost an instant. It wouldn't be as bad as suffocating through sickness and laying in bed for months upon end for a futile battle. Haha, no, she wouldn't last more than a week, and that was the max. I'm very weak. She was prone to dying like that. At least, if she could heal like this, she'd be able to do something before then. She could give others the chance that they couldn't have had before too.

Adeline's eyes widened, her expression flickering from shock to concern to worry within a few moments. How could he say that about himself? He was very important, and to a lot of people too. It didn't take her very long to notice he was using Laine's voice. The boy back in Chicago who had talked to her and had been Magic's friend for so long. Did Magic forget about him? No, that wasn't possible. This was simply heat of the moment... This was why people shouldn't find out. Magic had many people who thought he was important, after all. Barry, Aspen, Vince, Laine, and many others that she didn't know and probably wouldn't get the chance to know, as much as she would like to meet them. And, he was important to her too, but in a way, that didn't really matter. Her existence wasn't much in the end, anyway. By extension, she shouldn't matter all that much to him.

But for some reason, he cared too much about her when she didn't deserve it.

She made a very big mistake allowing herself to get close to him. This was her fault. Mama and Kearn were already too much - nobody should have to deal with the pain and suffering that followed her around like a shadow that would never disappear. Any words that she wanted to say didn't even get stuck anymore. They simply didn't exist. There was so much that she wanted to say now, but she couldn't. Haha, it was her own fault for wishing it would be better that she couldn't speak, anyway. At least now, Magic wouldn't have to hear her and worry even more. He wouldn't ever have to know that soon, she'd disappear and eventually fade from his life.

He probably won't remember her much by the time all of this was over. There were replacements for her out there. He could be much happier with someone else.

Much happier.

Her head hung low, eyes focused on the ground below her. She could only mouth the words 'I'm sorry' again. There wasn't any reason for her to get Magic involved with her mess. It would've been better if they hadn't met. It would've been better if she wasn't born. Then, everything would work out. Anything bad that people called an accident wasn't really an accident if she was around. It was because she was there that it happened. A string of bad luck and unfortunate events that higher powers cursed her with. Her grip tightened even more.

Callum watched, head too dizzy and unfocused to notice the new voice entering the mix. This wasn't what he expected when he visited today. Not at all. But it was his own fault for speaking so carelessly. He wasn't sure what Adeline would have said, if she could still speak now, but he had a good idea. She wouldn't mind him speaking in her place - he's done it before. His knuckles where white as they gripped the arm rests of his wheelchair, trying to spread the pain elsewhere. He still felt short of breath. "She doesn't think it's a waste of time." As if she would ever think that; she had no sense of self-preservation of whatsoever. But he couldn't really talk about that when he wasn't much better. She never knew that, as kind and sweet as she was to others, she was hurting them in return with the actions she made. Somehow, he had a feeling that she knew deep inside, but couldn't come to terms with it. Because her life wasn't worth it apparently. And it pissed him off.

... He couldn't blame her for that kind of thinking, but it was wrong. Very wrong. Especially considering the circumstances that brought her to be like this in the first place. "She doesn't want anyone else to suffer," he mumbled, dark green eyes glancing out towards the window once again. She was the kind of person who did her best to try and make people around her smile and be happy and never have to worry about anything at her own expense. His eyes closed. None of that mattered to him. It shouldn't matter. "You're being stupid, going that far."

All he could tell was that she was shaking. She shook her head and refused his statement. And to think this was the same girl who had been confident in her capabilities and was one of the more outspoken people he knew. 'Tch'. This was his fault. Her grip was too tight around Magic's hand.

He could say that because it was an everyday activity. There wasn't a day that went by that he got hurt in some way, shape or form. There was one time he ended up with a gash across his chest because he took a big risk. Granted that healed and now was a really faint scar. He had scars and stuff all over the place from taking certain hits, and getting cuts from knifes and different weapons people pulled on him, and he dealt with them easily so what he had dealt with around he was nothing. He had a decent pain tolerance, better than a normal person from what he suffered from. So it was natural for him to say it wasn't a big deal.

He ignored her tight grip on his hand, and just looked at the girl in front of him. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. Her shock then concern at his statement of being unimportant. It's true he wasn't. The gang had Laine to take care of them. They already considered him dead once. Barry... He hadn't spoken to Barry in a while. Apsen was gone. Hosa was a guardian she had more important stuff to worry about. Maybe.. maybe it would be best if he just left. Adeline wouldn't waste her time on him anymore. He should just go cause trouble for someone else like that stupid Argona's force.

He did care a lot. He cared enough in his mind for the girl he had feelings for, a subject that honestly was taboo back with the gang. He was always too concerned about the enemies movements, always to concerned about plans so when he mentioned hanging out with one of the gang girls they would tease him about it, and sort of freak out at the same time. He knew for as long as he was alive he wouldn't forget about Adeline.. even if she were to die because of her stupid idiotic mistakes. She had done a lot for him, and he might as well be undoing it with what he just considered.. and to think he might be executing it..

Magic's eyes flicked to Callum as he spoke up about what was going through his winter friend's head. Of course she wouldn't think of it as a waste of time. She didn't think of anything as a waste of time even taking care of a small cut. She would probably do it in a heartbeat, and then say it wasn't a waste of time even though the cut could be taken care of by a band-aid.

His eyes returned to his friend as Callum mentioned she went to far, and that she didn't want anyone else to suffer. Everyone suffered it was just a terrible part of life. There was no way to remove it. And she only caused him more suffering by trying to relieve it. Even before he knew it wasted time, he hated her healing him. He would rather deal the pain, but she just kept taking it from him. Pain that he should have dealt with, and worked with, that was just what made him, him. It was a bit dumb to think that way but he did.

"Adeline.." He said this time in a different voice, his brother's voice. What should he say, all he was ever good at was making the situation worse. He was honestly surprised he hadn't stormed out by now, or gone somewhere to cool off. He was still angry that she had never told him. He was still angry that she was throwing her life away. Why couldn't anything get through that thick skull of hers? Even Callum seemed to realize it too.

The boy's chest expanded as he took in a deep breath, and the exhaled in a heavy sigh as a form of calming down, which wasn't exactly working. But hey at least he wasn't destroying the dorms, and instead speaking in different voices. He just wanted to keep asking why, but it wasn't going to work. He wanted to squeeze her hand back, but he couldn't find it in himself to do it. His gaze fell to the floor beside them. "I...." He started to speak but closed his mouth again. "He... he is right.." He wanted to keep speaking. He wanted to point out this was a time to be selfish and not throw he time away. People cared.. and didn't want to see her go. She shouldn't be the one to throw her life away. But.. he knew.. He just knew it would fall on deaf ears.. she wouldn't listen... Why the hell would she not listen? Him he could understand.. but her close friend, that she claimed she killed was sitting right here, saying the same thing.. but she just wouldn't... listen...

First, it was Kearn telling her. Back then, during the one-year hiatus that she took from the academy and went home, she remembered begging her brother to teach her how to heal with their gifts. He had been able to do it with ease and so naturally, as though it was second-nature for him, while she failed to do so much as reverse a tiny cut. They were twins in that sort of matter, similar but different - it was as though life dictated they had opposing attributes in some shape or form. It was the only time where she reluctantly agreed to steal time again on his urging, only because he said that mess-ups could easily result in her death if she wasn't careful. And he was right. She screwed up pretty badly once that he gave her some of his own time to support her after a black-out. Kearn was rather cautious with his using, and Adeline was positive that he had a large storage to make up for the fact that she refused to take any of her own. He had that kind of forethought. He was lucky that trying to rob living creatures of their time didn't bring them any pain.

It wasn't like there was some sort of trick to it. Kearn was simply better at using his gifts while she paled in comparison. He was very patient, though. Months and months on end of very little success until she finally managed to do it. The achievement was very small in itself, but she managed to do it. Only back when she messed up again and nearly killed Katsuo did she heal something on a much larger scale. Afterwards, the healing shifted to Magic and his brother, their fights and the injuries he got. And then the airport. Funny to think that even Warren told her to be cautious, lest she wanted to suffer unnecessary consequences. But that didn't really matter. She had gotten much better with her healing.

Her twin did warn her, though. He knew very well why she asked him to mentor her in the first place. "Don't overwork yourself," he had said. "You don't always have to focus on other people." Focusing on herself was what had made crimson red paint the walls and bodies fall limp to the ground before becoming nothing more than hollow corpses of souls that had been mercilessly torn apart in the first place. She made that mistake twice... As a child and once upon coming back to the academy. Once was already too much. That wasn't fair to the people involved, not in the slightest. Too selfish, too greedy, too egotistical. Her pride was her downfall, and that kind of stubbornness only brought trouble. Arrogance. Not again.

Yet, even Callum kept telling her or tried to find the right way to word it. Sure, maybe back at the hospital on Christmas day he had been joking about it to try and lighten up the mood a little, and he had waved it off. She trusted that and went with it, but a nagging voice in her head told her otherwise. He always expressed his thoughts in melodramatic ways sometimes or tried to think of methods to make them more memorable by emphasizing the way he said things. At times, it came naturally. Other times, not so much. But when he did do so, he meant it. She knew that much from experience. There were small hints and reminders here and there that he would drop during their conversations together, back when she could speak. She caught onto them.

And now, Magic was agreeing with it too.

She didn't get that, not at all. Why? Why would they even bother with it? Vince...? That was his brother's voice, she was sure of it. But there was no way the younger Stein would be around. He had gone back to Chicago for so long already - the last she even heard of him was back during New Year's Day, and even then, his records were removed from the academy files already. Only lingering traces regarding the fact that Magic was still around.

If she put more thought into it, there was Vince too. At the airport, he had decided to shield her from falling debris after that disaster. The disaster that she had wound up causing. It was only natural that she had gone to try and repair as much of the damage as she could. Adeline didn't get why Vince had done that. Being protected and told to stay back only made her feel all that much weaker. She'd get in the way, right? Haha, then again, she couldn't ever bring herself to fight. It was stupid. There was no getting both. It was either join the fray or don't. In the end, she was a burden in both choices. She was absolutely useless like that.

Perhaps, had she still been able to at least use her vocal cords, she'd be laughing. But she couldn't. That was fine, though. That was the price she had to pay. Healing Jonathan back then was much more important than her own health. Besides, he didn't know she was the one to do it either, did he? Adeline wasn't sure, but at least he didn't know. Patty had found it rather strange that she had lost her voice, and for such a long duration too, though she didn't question it when she had said it was just her being sick. Being a waitress wasn't an option anymore, so helping in the back was the only thing she could do. Jonno and her couldn't interact all that much. He probably didn't question her silence either... or at least she hoped.

A small sigh escaped, and Callum had minimized the distance between him and the pair. Dark green eyes narrowed as he pulled Adeline's hand away from Magic's, noting that she had no reaction. At first, he had only assumed that she was perhaps lagging or maybe not able to process things very quickly, but the fact that she didn't even notice her hand was moved by now and refused to look at him was enough to tell him anything. Her grip was never that tightly clamped around anyone's hand. She went this far? This was too much, and she should've known that. A frown deepened across his features. He thought about saying something about it but immediately decided against it. Magic was already enough shock as is. If he had said anything more - especially something he couldn't confirm -, the other boy would be hysterical.

The longer they lingered on this, the worse the feeling got. It could be dealt with later. Someone needed time to think... Make that two someones.

This silence was gnawing, and he felt guilty even bringing this up. A maelstrom of regret, guilt, and some emotions he couldn't pinpoint or give a name to lingered in his chest, suffocating and making it difficult to breath. Adeline must've caught on when she finally turned to look at him, perturbed. Callum simply shook his head, voice strained. "I'm alright, don't worry about it." He immediately slipped his hand away before she got any additional ideas. Any longer and she would've tried to heal something that didn't exist anywhere besides in his own mind.

One convenient breeze caused one of the sheets of paper, which had been stacked in a pile once again after she had dropped them, to drift into his fingers. Callum quickly scanned over it before letting out another sigh. "You're doing paperwork today too?" He glanced over at Magic for a few brief moments, lingering to catch his eye. They would talk later. Now wasn't the time. The other boy needed some time to cool down before anything else regarding that was discussed. Magic should realize that. "They could at least make an exception every once and awhile."

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think. He couldn't believe he stood by and let her heal him that one time. She even passed out when she healed him after his fight with Vince.. He should have known something was up. He should have figured it out by now, but no. He had to be stupid and ignore pretty much everything. He should have noticed that she was getting weaker and weaker but he didn't.

He hadn't really noticed that Callum had removed their hands from each other, but he did notice after it was done. The Winter boy could feel himself getting a headache. His mouth was closed tightly together as he tried to keep his anger down, as he recalled more stuff that she had done. He needed to leave. He needed to go.

Mason looked over to Callum noticing that Callum was looking at him to. Right... talk later.. Later might have to wait a while.. He didn't know how long it would take for him to calm down. He ignored the fact of the paper work. She would do it even if they didn't give it to her. Magic shook his head trying to clear it, but it wasn't going to work. He could feel it. He really needed to go. He didn't say a word as he backed away from the two. He quickly turned and rushed for the door. The sign he left was the loud slam that followed.

Adeline could only purse her lips slightly, shaking her head softly in response to Callum. There wasn't a need for a break today. If anything, she needed a distraction from everything and this was the perfect way to go about. Staying caught up on something as trivial as her birthday wasn't necessary - there was no need for a celebration or for anyone to know. She could make much better use of her time by helping someone else with their workload and alleviating some of the tension on their shoulders; having work when they could be doing something else and enjoying their lives to the fullest wasn't right. They had better use of their time and if the opportunity came and they could snatch it, who was she to deny them of that when she didn't have anything better to do?

Right, she couldn't. Saying "no" was always a difficult task for her, trying to refuse.

Her mind kept telling her that she shouldn't be looking at Magic, that she had no right to after everything she pulled up to this point, but she couldn't keep her eyes from lingering on his figure. She knew she saw that expression on his face from somewhere before, the way that it was angry and bitter with a dash of frustration and resignation. It was very familiar, as though this wasn't the first time or the second time or even the third time. Many instances in the past. She kept digging through, scouring and hoping that she could recall when exactly it came up like that, but the task seemed almost near impossible, blocked by an invisible barrier that wouldn't let her get through, even in her own subconsciousness.

That was really pathetic. Being such a failure that her own brain refused to obey her. In a way, it was kind of laughable, but given the current circumstances, she wasn't sure whether she should be amused by it or not. Various things in life, she failed at. Even the menial activity of speaking and conversing with others was more perplexing and draining than she could imagine, and it took a lot of effort to simply open her mouth and utter a few words here and there. Most of the time, it took her very best to try and not be a burden to everyone around her. She was weak, could barely keep up with academics, and constantly got sick and passed out from the simplest of physical activities. Sometimes, she found herself sitting around, alone, and simply thinking: why did any of her friends stick by her?

Surely, with her many foibles and burdensome nature, she was holding them back. None of it made sense. They didn't have to stick around at all. Misfortune followed her like a shadow, a plague, bringing it upon those who continued to stay. It wasn't something that a five-minute pep talk or anything could throw out the window. Nobody actually needed her or wanted her. She couldn't do anything that was worth needing her. Anything she could do was an easy task that anyone else could do. The convenience being that, since she couldn't do anything else, it was the only thing that she could complete without causing too much trouble. That was why, it was better if she just disappeared. One day, everyone would look back and wonder why they had allowed her to ground them and keep them on earth when they could've been flying as free as a bird in the open sky, feeling the gentle breeze between their feathers.

It was better that she was gone... heh, Kearn would be mad if he heard that. Same to Callum, and for whatever reason, Magic too. But she couldn't help it. Those thoughts had injected, driven a stake through her and she couldn't remove it.

She watched him back away, and her brain could barely process that Callum had said something. Her hand was held out, as though it was a way that she could stop. He retreated closer and closer to the edge of the room, a feeling of dread filling her senses in an ebb and flow. And yet, she remained rooted where she was, petrified and still, unable to tear her gaze away. Let him leave, the voice echoed. This was her chance to cut him off forever. If he left now, she wouldn't have to interact with him ever again. He didn't have to get frustrated or angered by her actions anymore. They didn't have to see face to face. Adeline didn't want that, for some reason.

The way her hand stretched out further was futile, as though it could stop him from several feet away. She tried to take a few steps forward, but the firm grip on her other wrist prevented her from moving from where she was.

It happened so suddenly in the eternity of time that warped her sense of reality.

He left, the slam ringing through her, and she felt terrible, wincing at the sound it made. As if she was the one it pained.

Her breath was stolen from her, light and shallow and barely at a steady pace. "Adeline..." His voice sounded almost distant, as though it were in a dream, that this wasn't real. If it weren't real, she could still be friends with Magic and he would never have found out her secrets. But that wasn't possible. Life wasn't fair, that way. This wasn't a nightmare that she could wake up from. And it was her own fault, no one else's. "You're crying."

Those two words jolted her back out of her dazed trance.

It was useless, really, but her fingers came up to her cheeks, touching the wet remains of tears. Her hand was held, palm up, at a distance from her face and she could see the reflective, thin surface that proved as evidence. Vision couldn't betray her in the same way that touch could. Yet. Oh. She didn't think that was possible anymore, to shed tears over something like this. Quickly, she wiped her eyes and forced a gentle smile as she spun on her heel to face Callum once again.

She had no right to be sad about this. She deserved the darkness that continued to encompass her.

She knew where she saw that look before.