I Don't Blame You [Closed]

The school day had just ended(because it's totally not Sunday) and students were swarming the halls, chattering loudly with the daily gossip, news, etc. However, a few made way when a student accidentally bumped into them, stumbling a bit through the halls, slouching slightly from the weight of his books--which wasn't that much, but in his state, it felt tripled for him. He felt weaker than he ever had before, a dull throb sending pain through his entire body every time his heart beat. If he stood in one place, his legs would start to shake slightly, as if to give way at any moment. He had shadows and bags under his eyes, and by the way he stumbled around, one could think he was sleep deprived.

However, he had simply little time left in his life, much of it drained away. Could get it back? He had no idea, and not only was he weak physically, but mentally as well. He no longer cared how much time he had left. He would just wait it out, having decided that...Well, it didn't matter anymore. That no one would miss him. Any memory of him would fade away quickly, even with Aiko. She'd forget about him too. He knew it.

He was definitely in a huge state of depression, and was kind of on autopilot throughout the day. His heart was shattered into nothing after the incident with Lamia. Yet, he only blamed himself. His mind was constantly elsewhere, sometimes relaying what happened before he had blacked out during the incident over and over in his head. He was, however, jolted from his thoughts when he was the one bumped into for once. Kind of hard, too, like someone was in a rush to get home...

Everything had a hell of an ordeal for Lamia since she had been released - more like escaped - the infirmary.

School appeared like a ghost town in her eyes, the crowds blurring into one shape as she hastily rushed through the hallways. Every breeze from open windows was bone-chilling and her mind was swimming with pointless thoughts on past events from months before. Lamia had thought a clear mind would help her. But it didn't give her anything useful: Just brooding, self-loathing and bitter thoughts with a hint of anxiety or worry. It was a blind dash from the classrooms, her face not glancing anywhere but the floor as she sprinted through the hallways the moment the moment the bells blared. Her steps were hasty and her feet seemed to be tripping over one another, losing her balance constantly in her mad run to the dorms. She didn't want to look up, hoping nobody would notice her. The Winter didn't even apologize to the many people she had bumped into on her way down, knowing full way that going to class every day was a terrible idea, yet she still continued to attend. Why? If she didn't, her life would be much more joyous: everything would be fixed, perfected, and remastered to its potential and no problems would ever come up again. She set herself up constantly to this endless torture, taking delight in any self-inflicting punishment she could give to herself. This was all her fault. As she continued to run, turning the corner, face lowered to the ground, she didn't notice the dark figure in front of her, a few inches away, and the Winter crashed into him.

Her foot slipped and now lackluster, life-less eyes widened, and then Lamia fell backwards onto the rigid, biting floor. She didn't know if she screamed, or squealed, or whatever. The next thing she knew was that she was on the ground, limbs ramified, and her head throbbing more than it had seconds before. Everything around her was spinning as she tried to get up.

Opening her eyes slowly, she saw him, albeit as a silhouette as her eyes tried to focus on restoring her broken vision. In the distance, a minor ticking sound could be heard.

The impact sent him to the ground across from the other student, dizzy and vision blurred. He blinked and groaned quietly as the pain grew slightly as his body was starting to realize he had just slammed right into someone else. His books lay on the floor beside him, but he didn't care. Blinking more to clear his vision, his sullen eyes widened slightly at the sight of her. The one that he expected would be the last one to appear in his path again, to even ever look his way.

Feeling more sore than before, he struggled to his feet, picking up his things on the way up. He stared at his feet, opening his mouth to say something, unsure what to feel or what words to use, but found that he couldn't speak anyways. He shivered slightly, gaze dark and more than apologetic. Regretful, upset. It wasn't normal for him to reveal his emotions too much. He finally forced out the very shaky phrase, "I-I'm s-s-sorr-ry."

He couldn't bring himself to move, but wanted to run away. To flee. He couldn't bring himself to face her again, especially not like this. He felt like a horrible person, and knew that she must hate him now. By running into each other like this, it only was getting worse, wasn't it? The Winter's grip tightened around his books as he hugged them close, trying to think straight. It was impossible for him to calmly organize his thoughts at the moment, as hard as he tried. He was left to simply await her response.

She was seeing double and short cloudy moments only showed the shadow of the figure in front of her. What luck it was for someone to notice, let alone bump into her in a place like this. It didn't stop her from freaking out that she could only see a shadow, her eyes failing to focus on the image around her. Shadows... the Haruki twins' power. Events from before flashed into her head, making her more light-headed than before. Her head pounded with soreness, a bruise evidently forming in the back, blossoming into more pain - more for her to worry about. She weighed in her mind whether it would be better to get up and find some ice or simply stay on the ground and ignore what just happened.  

Lamia had often run into the worst situations, pulling many straws in life, but God, how bad could it get?

She struggled to get up after a few moments, trying to sit up once, twice, three times before giving up. Her heart felt wounded from this encounter, but she wouldn't admit it... Not to him. The best position she could manage was to kneel in defeat from her suddenly drained energy, leaning against the cornerstone wall behind her. With her head resting, she felt the approaching pain that would come with everything. It crawled through her dirtied back, a sin from her unhealing, undying wound. Something she could never forget. I hate life... Lamia turned her head slightly and at the corner of her eyes, glanced at the other boy, her expression caught somewhere between fear, hurt, and apologetic. Should she apologize for running into him and pushing him to the floor, or let him kill her with a knife that could easily be hidden in his bag?

It was then that she saw the sorry state he was in. Broken, hopeless, beyond repair like an old, mangled machine that was tossed in the shed. He looked ready to cry even, weak and battered up as though the waves had crashed him into the jagged cliffs. He was paler than before, sickened by her. It was disgusting to her... She caused him to be like this. Biting her lower lip, Lamia looked away before grabbing him gently yet with as much ferocity as a tiger ready to hunt its prey, with a shadow of uneasiness. Swallowing her tears, she tried to say something, but it never came out. She wanted to be a child that didn't know anything, that didn't suspect the darkness of the world. It wouldn't happen.

Lamia did something she didn't expect herself to do. Pulling him into a hug, gripping him ever so tightly, as she buried her face into his chest. Why did she do it? Why...? She was an absolute jerk... He didn't deserve it. She didn't realize or notice the kindness he gave her until they started avoiding each other. Not knowing what to say, the Winter couldn't help it as the mutter under her breath came out cracked and broken, "D-don't l-leave... p-p-please..."

A frightening idea crept into her head... Could she maybe? It wasn't something she achieved, but... but...

She seemed weak too, but in different ways. Stumbling, struggling, pained and failing to even rise off the ground. She almost seemed...Startled. He couldn't really tell, until he glanced up a bit more to see that she wasn't looking at him either. I knew it, he shut his eyes, ready to force himself to somehow get moving, to leave. He didn't want to cause any more trouble, especially not for her. Just the sight of him probably made her nauseous. She hates me, she does--

What he didn't expect, was the sudden grab at his arm(or whatever she grabbed I don't know). He looked up, absolutely shocked, but not nearly as so as when he was suddenly pulled into a hug. A tight, warm embrace that was so surprising that he dropped his books again in the quick movement. Wh-what...?! The long dead spark in him bloomed into a tiny, tiny flame, like a small shred of hope was slowly returning to the back of his mind, which had been locked down for some time now.

He couldn't move, simply sitting there. They probably looked weird, sitting there in the middle of the hallways, upholding traffic, hugging and looking like they were about to cry. In fact, Katsuo found himself uncontrollably beginning to tear up, his eyes a little less dull than before as he almost unconsciously hugged her back, though much more gentle from lack of strength. Was it possible that she still cared? Even a little? Did she ever care? Does she care now? That's what that little flame of hope asked, over and over, but he--practically a natural reaction by now--slowly began to push them away, the brief period of what could possibly be a speck of happiness that she actually might not hate him after all fading.

But, not completely.

He gradually pulled away, glancing sideways at nothing in particular. Just not at her. For a few seconds that seemed more like hours for him, he said nothing, sitting in silence. The sound of other students milling about the school had faded from the Winter's hearing near completely, nothing but a low humming noise in the background.

"...Okay." He murmured suddenly, surprising himself. "I'm...S-sorry..." His words were barely audible, and he found himself speaking without wanting to. He couldn't find his voice on his own accord, but his mind seemed to talk plenty for him. His books were still on the ground, collecting dust, temporarily forgotten during this unexpected turn of events. "D-did I h-hurt you?" He chanced a look at her, noticing the bruise on her head creeping into view.

Lamia was dying from embarrassment, a sudden paranoia and a twinge of pain as Katsuo let go. She hesitated for a few moments, not wanting to think about it. How could she be such an idiot? Stupid...stupidstupidstupid... Her actions were like a punch to the gut, as she barely processed what had happened. It took her a few moments to refocus before realizing... Oh... Her eyes widened slightly, her mouth opening in a small 'o' before she shut it, wanting to force herself to move from where she was. She should do something, but what was it supposed to be? Did she want to cause more trouble than it was worth? Crunching her fingers together as she withdrew slowly into a small ball, she knew her feelings kept shifting constantly, as mercurial as the pattern of the wind. Perhaps he was the person she wanted to be with most right now or maybe he was the one she wanted to avoid at all costs. It kept changing every few seconds. Why is this so confusing? Her emotions kept switching from ecstatic to guilty to unsure and back to ecstatic. One moment, she wanted to bury her head in her pillow and scream, blurring him from her head... The next, she felt butterflies forming in her stomach and her face heating up like red metal in a furnace.

When he had pushed her away, she felt her hopes die down, as though she were expecting something. What was she supposed to do now? Get up and leave? Try again? Kiss him? Slip away and hope he doesn't notice her absence? Lamia couldn't ignore the fluttering in her chest, taking a few deep breaths to brace herself for something, she didn't know what. He was willing to talk to her -- that was all it took to petrify her. She looked around, her expression caught between frozen and befuddled, a long terror-stricken silence filling the air. An uneasy, quavering laugh escaped her mouth as her mind went blank. Say something you idiot. Joke or something. Try and act natural. Right now, she really wanted to shut the voice in her head up, but she couldn't figure out whether she was even doing the right thing.

He was noticing her pain, sympathizing over her situation when he was worst off... Her heart was pounding, trying to rip through her. Butterflies, random blushing, daydreams, everything tying itself in knots. She felt dizzy and wanted to leave. Her eyes turned to her hands before she absently placed them on his shoulder, closing her eyes, concentrating. What am I doing...? She didn't know, but for some reason, it was stupid of her. Her mental state was absolutely terrible, she'd kill him... A light glow radiated from her palms as she felt something eject itself from her hands and straight through him, but it didn't come back up. It stayed put. She couldn't have just given time away... She didn't have that power... Did she? When her gold irises exposed themselves once again, she felt a strike of pain slice right through her. The slight ticking noise before almost completely muted itself in the buzzing of the crowd.

Struggling to her feet, using the wall as the small support she had, Lamia got up, her legs shaking and her progress down the halls slow. She didn't even bother trying to say a word, but it was evident she wouldn't make it back to the dorms alone. Her knees buckled as she fell again, not too far from where she had crashed into him. Her body was trembling as she tried to get up again, with minimal success.

"I-i-i... c-can't do this..."

Giving away life wasn't as easy as she thought.

The confusion was becoming overwhelming. Katsuo blinked, waiting for an answer, his mind an unstable flood of questions all of the sudden during the silence following his question. It was suffering. Yet, at least he was thinking more than before. Was his mind clearing a little? The tiny flame of hope kept rising and falling gently in the back of his mind, like a newborn puppy struggling to breathe in its first days in life. Perhaps it was because he had few left.

While he looked down absently at his fingers, twiddling them, he speculated on how Lamia could possibly be feeling. Angry? Sad? Happy? He barely stopped himself from randomly shaking his head in reality in response to his own thought, which he assumed ridiculous. It was then he felt something...Her hands had grabbed his shoulders. He froze on the spot, heart beat speeding up a little in surprise. No...Not just surprise. What was that feeling of relief suddenly washing over him?

The Winter slowly looked up, astonished, feeling his strength slowly return to him. His leg no longer shook, and his eyes brightened up from their dull, deathly state from moments ago. His mind began to clear a little, although he was even more confused than before. However, it was as if the factory of his brain, having slowed to a near stop, was now up and running fine again. As if he had never fell ill like this in the first place. As if the whole snowstorm event had never happened. As if...Lamia had never taken his life time.

She was restoring his life.

Eyes widening in realization, he stared up at her, to see her cringe in pain, the faint sound of ticking echoing briefly in his head. When it was over, she had stood up, although barely. He tried to get up a little too fast, his energy not restoring as fast as he first thought, and nearly fell back on his behind. In front of him, Lamia was much worse off, buckling and collapsing almost as soon as she stepped away. Forgetting about what had happened in the moment, Katsuo got to his feet--a bit more carefully this time--and held out a hand to her. Now you're the weak one... He didn't say it out loud, but was beginning to feel a little guilty. Why had she done that all of the sudden? Did she really possibly care after all...?

He felt his cheeks heat up ever so slightly at the possibility, but shrugged it off, unable to hide the worry from his expression. "H-here, let me help you..." He murmured, waiting to see if she'd accept the offer.

Lamia jumped in surprise and whirled around to see the boy following her again. Did he enjoy sneaking up on her? Looking out the window towards the blanket clouds overhead, she couldn't help but think they were so close to the ground, as if she could touch them. She found herself in a mystified daze, finding it amusing that she could forget and fail to notice her surroundings for a few moments. The number of  days she had walked around the campus were limited, but all of that time she had spent staring at the ground. She wanted to be lost in her own little world longer, the atmosphere as serene as it could get for now. Maybe I can enjoy this a little longer... Maybe... It ended quickly when she snapped awake, hearing his offer to help her.

Should she accept it? She continued to amble awkwardly through the hallways, holding onto the faint hope that he would just move along, ignoring her as she stared nowhere in particular. Just leave me alone... were the words she said as she inwardly cursed the other student, regretting her actions from before. Lamia didn't exactly resent Katsuo anymore, but it didn't mean she would still like to be around him... She reversed her damage, now she just wanted to recover. To flee. To be lost in her own little world. And now, he was trying to force her to accept that she was a weak, helpless girl. He was trying to force her to converse and get things back on the right track. It would only end badly.

In a feeble attempt to suppress her irritation, she gave a polite smile and briefly turned her attention to the other boy. Smile, eyes level, speak up, and don't stutter... Going over Kearn's advice in her head, she remembered fondly when he coached her for these awkward moments. It wasn't very useful though, as there was as much uncertainty in her voice as though the boy had asked her to go jump off a cliff into the shark-filled ocean, "N-no... thanks." As thoughts flew through her head, she knew one thing that made her completely mess up - she hated herself for before and didn't want to face him about it. Nothing about the situation was pleasant, but it would not stop her from mocking herself, Nice going, you sound like an absolute jerk. Why was talking normally such a challenge? How hard could it be to just... speak?

She still wasn't sure what she was doing here, idling when she could be running.

Her heart skipped a beat. The girl slowly began to edge away from the boy, continuing her ceased, struggling walk, as if she had stumbled into a lion's den. Lamia was doubtless that she had to run from the consequences she caused, frightened to face them. It would only result in her getting to the most awkward situations, always. Clenching her eyes shut and ducking her head away, she knew she had never properly apologized. But if Katsuo was there, she wanted to find a place to hide or to go towards. The situation was getting more awkward and she didn't want to stay around for when it bursted into flames. The seriousness of the conversation was starting to creep on her, with the focus being the two of them in a crowd of many students. Staring down at her hands, she continued to move, swaying side to side dizzily as her arm searched for some kind of support from the wall beside her. It was as though the other boy had set up this situation to taunt her.

Suddenly, the pain from before got the better of her as it shot through her body as she felt her ankle give way. Lamia muttered something along the words of 'stupid' and 'idiot' as she fell forward slightly, clutching her chest as though she felt it would give her more balance. You dumb idiot... she wanted to scream out, but it would give the wrong message to the crowd around. Pulling her sleeve up slightly, she was alarmed by how much time the clock embedded on her arm read... A month, a couple of hours, and barely a few minutes... How had she given up so much time? She couldn't have given Katsuo that much of her life. A memory slipped into her head, his words...

...A-and even after that little accident with the table and everything--I'll gladly take the blame as my bad, being as I kneed it in the first place--I still don't see why people would want you to die. It's...Sad to hear you say that. You're one of the only people I've come to care for.

Maybe it wasn't so bad to let him have the rest of her life. If that was the case, she could join her parents and a few other friends then... She barely had enough strength to walk, let alone control her power now, so... maybe she could pass away unnoticed before her birthday. Just maybe... Nobody would care -- why would he after she nearly killed him?

OOC;; Digging to find those topics though. I reread it and was all like... Wtf was I doing with Lamia? She was so inconsistent before. ;;

[OoC] Oh god you found the old cafe topic
Remember when everything was innocent and cute and no one was trying to kill each other--

[IC] Katsuo slowly pulled his hand back, watching her struggle more. The flame of hope bitterly died out, leaving him standing there, not knowing what to do. He felt alone once again, helpless. Of course, why did he even bother to try and help? Why would she want his help, of all people? He screwed up everything. He went too far, saying something incredibly stupid, setting her off, and now everything was ruined. Again. He ruined the bit of happiness he could find in life all over again. Maybe the other times it didn't involve her, but it still didn't change the fact that he repeatedly, over and over and over again, royally fucked everything up.

"Sorry..." He blurted the word out again, unwillingly, although it was nearly inaudible anyways. The Winter felt his face heat up slightly, turning red as tears started to gather. He bit his tongue, holding them back, pushing the bad memories away. Don't cry...It'll only make things worse. He didn't want to make things harder on her than they already were. She just gave him life again, although he wasn't sure if he wanted it at this point. He wondered if it would have any long-term effects on her, and it became increasingly hard to keep calm. You jerk! Idiot! Don't fucking cry! You've already made things bad enough! Just leave and let her be on her way! She gave you your life back, so repay the favor and leave her alone for crying out loud!

He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He simply stared at her, gaze unwavering as she struggled along. There was no way she would make it anywhere on her own like that. She needed rest. But what could he do? Get someone to help her? But he couldn't speak! The halls had begun to empty out now anyways, leaving them and a few passerbys left alone. And there was no way he could help her. She wouldn't let him. He wouldn't let himself. There was no way.

Wait, what? He felt himself move, walking a few steps forward before pausing next to Lamia, looking straightforward at the end of the hallway. His bite on his tongue grew more forceful, and he thought he tasted blood. But he didn't care. His body wasn't listening to him. He inhaled deeply, sighing and glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. She...Looked so frail. Hurt. The sight made what was left of his heart sting, once again blaming himself.

The words were tumbling out without his will, making him want to bury his face in his pillow back at his dorm room and hide forever under the blankets like a child. "I...Have to go this way anyway. I hate to see you like this..." He murmured. "You don't...deserve it..." He trailed off, staring at his feet again. He felt a faint blush arrive on his face, and felt like the biggest idiot in the world. He then realized, that more than anything in the world at the moment, he just wanted to help her. His words were true: he couldn't stand to see her like this.

OOC;; And when I sucked at RPing... OTL

IC;; A pang of hollow guilt hit her hard, and she feebly forced a nonetheless. Shuffling her feet a bit, mumbling, "Ehehe... Right..." She shrunk slightly into the light jacket of her uniform in embarrassment, her face beet red. "I-I g-guess..." her voice faltering, wavered.

Her senses came back to her ever so suddenly, and with it, anxiety flooded in like the rushing stream, desperate to fill the lake with water. I'm being too weird... And inconsistent! she cried to herself, hating how she just couldn't come up with a decision. Her heart was beating like a drum in an erratic rhythm and her self-consciousness couldn't help but make her more uncomfortable than she already was. The feelings of excitement and guilt she originally had when she saw Katsuo were now fading to panic and her dream-like dizziness was evolving into nausea. Head pounding, panting as the only real thought that was in her head was to head back to her dorms and rest.

Realizing that Katsuo was next to her already, Lamia quickly turned around, and didn't dare face him as she walked. Her hands were shoved into her pockets, tugging uneasily at the thin material. Where was she planning to go exactly? Perhaps her dorm, but there were probably people in there. What about the infirmary? No... she didn't want to go back to that prison again. She had no idea. The fastest way to her dorm was one way or the other, but backtracking meant looking him in the eye. Lamia sighed slightly, having little clue about what to make out about this academy anymore - it was cursed and the people were absolutely weird. Many had been sociable and friendly yes, but... They all treated her like she was an absolute useless, inferior person.

I'm not some damsel in distress, she told herself, wanting to punch everyone who believed so in the face, or at least treated her as such. Why did people always insist she was weak? Why did they insist she was powerless? Why did everyone seem to insist that she always needed help for everything? All she wanted was to avoid anymore awkwardness, but that seemed to get her to mess up every single little encounter she had with anyone. She tried to suppress these thoughts... and those of the timid black-haired Winter, it was hopeless. Lamia couldn't think of anything but him and she couldn't help but feel...

Lovestruck.

Guilt seemed to leaving placing its hand on her shoulders and making her feel more down than anything, and this time, it seemed to overwhelm her. She couldn't deny it, couldn't find any excuses, as much as she tried. Lamia couldn't be attracted to Katsuo, could she? She had promises to fulfill, other things to do, and why would anyone love or care about her anyway? Raising her hopes for nothing was a futile effort. This was so wrong... she wanted to forget about it, wait it out. It wasn't like she was attracted to him before... The thoughts were tormenting and for some reason, she couldn't find any enjoyment in them this time.

Her mind was in disarray and her body was as stiff as wood. She brought her forearms close to her chest, her long pale fingers barely peaking out as they clasped onto the fabric around her wrist. Her gaze was brought back down to the floor, dark bangs sweeping over her face and obscuring her face. Contemplating on the idea of her falling in love, she was only surprised when she saw at the corner of her eyes creeping out and all she could do was cling to Katsuo's sleeve to force herself to stay calm when...

Anxiety and panic clouded her mind, "I-I...n-need to..." her voice was light and quiet, and she wasn't sure if Katsuo heard her. "g-go to my r-r-room..."

With that, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and a tiny, shallow breath escaped her mouth, as she collapsed to the floor, completely out of it. The blush on her face had hardly faded and it seemed impossible, her skin paling even further to a sickly color as her body grew warmer yet all feeling of touch left her as her tiny fingers slipped out of grasp.

He surprisingly didn't flinch, didn't look at her in surprise when she grabbed his sleeve this time. It...Almost seemed natural. Yet, at the same time, his heartbeat had begun to quicken some, and he simply nodded in response to her stuttered, quiet reply even though he was sure she wasn't looking at him either. The Winter cared for Lamia deeply, he knew that, but whenever he and Aiko fought and avoided each other for a while to cool down, his own twin sister, he never felt this distraught, guilty, and worthless. Hell, he felt the opposite, and his sister had been his closest friend for the majority of his life. In fact, probably his only friend until he came to Beata and met a few select people crazy enough to put up with him.

Like the girl beside him. Why didn't Lamia hate him? Why didn't she hit him or something right there for being so bothersome? It puzzled him, and he wasn't sure whether to feel guilty that she had decided to put up with him or feel happy that she stayed around. Right now though, there were far too many feelings and thoughts swirling and tumbling around in his usually organized mind for him to comprehend and be able to think clearly enough to properly assess the situation at hand.

It was then that the other Winter had spoken up, so quiet that he almost didn't hear her. He glanced at her, about to nod and start walking, when she suddenly began to lean back. Her eyes rolled back while his own widened in shock. "Lamia--!" He gasped, turning a little too fast, for an instant reminded that it was impossible for his body to recover from a state of near complete shut-down that fast, and grabbed her arm. However, it was no use. Damn it...! He felt weaker than before, but not in the same way. It was a feeling of helplessness, really, angry at himself for not being able to do anything. The best he could do was wrap his arms around her and twist so that, upon their collision with the floor, he had gotten the most of the impact. Idiot...She's going to be angry when she wakes up...

...She will wake up...

He had forgotten about his god damn books on the floor.

Upon hitting the ground, his head slammed hard onto his binder, which had fallen open, a few papers scattered. His scalp slammed into the metal rings of the binder; thank goodness they weren't open. However, they still hurt like Hell, and the damage was done. He gasped, eyes wide, the breath shot out of him as a sharp pain flooded the back of his head. He cried out in pain once, biting his teeth together and gritting them in pain. He could have sworn his skull had been dented a bit there, and truly, the top layer had even cracked ever so slightly. Not enough to really be damaging, but it'd be a really sore spot for a while. Damn it, math.

Reaching back and shoving the binder away, he laid his head on the ground a moment, still internally screaming from pain. That hurt far more than he would have expected. He gritted his teeth, shutting his eyes a moment as a harsh headache began to arise. Get over yourself, he snapped silently, instead focusing on why he had done that in the first place.

Head throbbing, he forced himself slowly up to a sitting position, nearly forgetting he was still holding onto an unconscious Lamia. What was he going to do? He sat her up, gently leaning her up against the wall, worried sick and in severe head pain. He had forgotten about his nervousness earlier, his depressed thoughts, his mind forcing itself on a set track temporarily in response to what all just happened.

"D-damn it..." He muttered, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I'm so s-sorry...This is my f-fault..." There was no way she could hear him, right? She was unconscious, and he blamed himself almost naturally now. Now he could only ramble out confused jumbles. He looked up at her, wishing she'd just open her eyes and be just fine, just having a brief fainting spell or something since she had just used her gift to give him some life. That was probably why he felt so guilty, why he blamed himself. She needed rest. He needed to do something other than sit there! He looked around for staff or someone in the hallways, but it looked like there was no one yet.

There was no way he could do this normally, but his willpower took mind over body into play. "I-I...n-need to...G-go to my r-r-room..." Remembering her words, he gently shifted over and lifted her up, struggling a bit at first but finally standing up, holding her like a sleeping child rather than an unconscious student. He didn't think, his mind going blank, focusing on one thing: get her back to her room, and then leave immediately after. Leave her alone. He caused enough trouble. She deserved better.

He began to walk down through the halls, making his way surprisingly quickly out of the school building. The Winter pushed on, glad that no one was really around to question what happened. He didn't need anyone stopping him. If they did, he was afraid he'd collapse on the spot and end up making everything worse by dropping her in the process of keeling over. By the time he made it to the Winter House, he made his way to the elevator, prayed no one was in it, and hit the button.

Things were finally going his way for once. The elevator was empty.

He pushed the button, leaning against the wall of the moving elevator, taking a moment to glance at the other he was carrying in his arms. He flinched; she looked twice as bad as before, although he was probably just imagining it from anxiety.

The boy exited the elevator, suddenly realizing something; he had no idea what dorm was Lamia's, let alone which dorm room was her's, and he had instinctively clicked the floor for his dorm. No...Shit! He silently cursed himself in his head, feeling weak in the legs and beginning to feel extremely dizzy. He had no choice. He couldn't keep carrying her like this for much longer. Feeling a slight redness return to his cheeks once more and feeling like a perverted jackass for this, he made his way to his own dorm, making sure no one was around before making his way to his room.

He gently laid the other Winter student down on his bed, which was neat and clean, as he had thankfully gotten them washed the night before. Averting his eyes from embarrassment, he grabbed an extra blanket and laid it over her, then grabbed a water bottle from a mini fridge in the corner. He set it on the tiny table beside the bed before leaving the room, sighing and sinking to his knees in both pain from his increasingly harsh headache and sore head, and in exhaustion from the walk and lack of energy he already had. Everything hurt. So he sat there next to the door, and like that, he fell unconscious, sound asleep as his body forceably decided that it really needed some rest.

Lamia had always been at the wrong place at the wrong time. It could've been the best time and best place for Katsuo, but that wasn't the point at all.

She had hung limply in the Winter's arms, breathing lightly and with a soft cadence. It was almost as though she was asleep and dreaming peacefully, crimson on her face. Redolent to tenderness, she gently swayed to and fro, the tiny billows lulled by the rest of evening, as though they were the music of sleepy, restless winds that helped little buds blossom. As if she was set hopelessly in the dark, her face was almost scratched up from the fall, little cuts covering her body. Her glass-like body was more than exposed to injury, any minuscule movement jerking her, her heart's speed flying across the train tracks, trying to outrun the whistling machine behind it. Any noise she heard was whited out. Sweat had begun to break, the drops drifting down her pallid skin like soft cold kisses from the sky, over-hydrating the lilies rooted to the earth helplessly. Little did she know...

Some time later, Lamia didn't know how much time had passed, but her body seemed to have slapped her awake, her eyes in shock. Her face was flushed, and she could feel her eyes fluttering, stirring at the texture of her surroundings. White ceiling, ugly curtains, sky blue walls, and bright lights... Where am I? asking herself a useless statement. She was paralyzed, only her gold irises able to shoot around and get a decent look of where she could be. A dorm? It couldn't be hers - it felt different, but she couldn't put her finger on as to why when everything appeared to be the exact same.

Her memory quickly came flooding back into her head, and any redness from her face that was lost suddenly reappeared. Her head felt muddled, her vision filled with black spots, and pain seemed to constantly surge through her body. She was shaking so much, lifting one arm up to try and grab the water bottle on the small table beside her, but it seemed to take away so much of her energy. A silly everyday task, and she couldn't do it. Cursing herself, Lamia continued to struggle a bit, before letting out a sigh of relief as her fingers managed to grasp the heavenly source of water.

It didn't help that she was still struggling to open it, her hands always slipping over the cap, unable to twist it far enough. She was so tired, her eyes felt heavy and nothing seemed to have a source of strength. Relishing in the sweet taste of the drink, she fully endorsed in it, finally bringing the bottle back to the wooden table beside, and lay her head on the pillow in the back. Sleep seemed tempting, but then, her mind finally caught up with everything...

Oh... This is Katsuo's dorm.

Her body felt paralyzed again, and her mouth opened to cry for help, but no sound came out. Wide-eyed, she couldn't help but feel she was drugged to death. She couldn't believe it. Her face contorted into an expression of discomfort, rolling to the side from how much it hurt, trembling. Fiddling with her fingers, she looked nowhere except the surface of the pillow, her eyes mindlessly looking for nothing. It was as though her gaze had passed through every little wall and piece of furniture, just trying to find out where he was. She constantly found herself shooting nervous glances to the door or an entrance-way.

Gently, she ran her hand across the smooth surface of the bed frame. Normally, if she were to be confide to a bed, Lamia would prefer to have a book cradled with her or a drawing pad. She often lost herself in the countless pages of creativity, possibly reading or drawing from hours upon hours to what seemed like no end. She lived the stories in quietness and excitement in her own room since she never really had friends. Most people would ignore her or go out of their way to make her cry, so it was the only thing she was willing to do. It beat being betrayed - an exhilarating tale of people who had friends and she could live through it with them in her own head.

She quickly found that she could never really escape reality with the books though, as much as she tried and wished for it. They were just words on paper and she couldn't pay enough attention to them as she used to.

At some point, she had found herself going insane from staying in the room, her mind darting from ridiculous, stupid ideas to the next. What if he wanted to do something to her? To mess with her? Was it possible that he had purposefully tricked her into giving her life away so he could kidnap her? Shaking her head, she tried to convince herself that she was just being silly. It wasn't working. Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid... Goddamit... Why did she care anyway? The blush on her face deepened at the idea that crept on her mind before letting it fade away. She was not like that... At all... She's been hanging out with the wrong people again.

Her friends were gone now - she didn't have any, without a doubt. It was obvious that Katsuo would hate her. And he had every reason to after she had attempted to murder him and his sister, sending all three of them to the infirmary just for trying to be nice to her. A pang of sadness hit her.

No books, no music, no friends. It left nothing to do. Around that time, she had started contemplating on carrying one of those tiny origami flowers she used to own everywhere. In her dorm, she would simply stare at it and lay in bed, observing all the little nicks and the quality of detail within it. Honestly, if she could cut her hair to its original length from when she first entered Beata, she would, but she didn't know of any barbers in town, nor would she trust them with scissors around her neck. Too much stabbing recently... She'd considered cutting herself in the infirmary after the incident, really, but she never had the courage afterwards once she saw herself in the mirror.

The girl's life had always been a ridiculous contrast that could've belonged to two different people. One one hand, she wished for a personal, quiet life inside the solace of her room with everything neat and clean and no visitors. On the other hand, her social life - if she had one - was in panic, disarray, and complete awkwardness with one mess-up over the next. She just wanted to squirm her way out of it at as soon as possible, quicker than a cheetah if she could. Rather, she was working at snail's pace, never able to have enough confidence to tell anyone anything or try anything in fear of another stupid incident because of her. She felt so directionless now, staring blankly around the room as she realized the chaos that was to come and consume her beloved, personal life.

Overusing the frame as a support, she dragged herself towards the door. Her eyes wanted to shut themselves, only opening every now and then to see how many more pointless steps she would have to take to reach the end and open the exit to flee like a tiny mouse scuttling away from a hungry cat. She wanted to collapse, stumbling weakly. Her eyes were lined with red and it was almost evident that there were dark bags right underneath. Hovering quietly at the door, she was so focused on getting to the entrance when...

Crash!

She had just tripped over Katsuo, who she hadn't noticed before. Stifling her breath, she groggily got up, but why was it that there were sharp shards underneath...? Crap... She'd broken the vase that was on the drawer, most likely shaking from her sudden fall to the floor. Wincing at the blood that began to spill, she felt herself freeze all over again. Why did she always mess everything up? Biting the bottom of her lip, she felt a small tear rushing down her cheek. Sniffling a bit, she couldn't figure out what to do. Let Katsuo clean up the glass she had broke or just leave? But there was something she found evident in this entire thing.

She was trapped in this school, unable to leave because of her "gifts". I just want to go home now... She would trade anything to go a day without killing other people, without sucking away their life like a leech, without falling in love with the guy she almost killed, without somebody calling her 'gifted', or without worrying about getting stabbed or betrayed, or put in a coma, or worse. She could feel more hot tears from her clenched eyes. This was so unfair... And she had no support to help her.

Did she...?

No. No way. She shouldn't think about using him like that. No. Nonononononono... But then she heard something next to her, some kind of movement, and instinctively got into a defensive position. A sharp prick of pain reached the bottom of her foot as blood had begun to bead, slipping down and pooling on the floor. Her body was quaking, either from pain or the crying, or both. Hissing in pain, she cried out softly, "Agh...!" unable to stop herself.

OOC;; I have no idea what my goal was with this post.