Crap, a letter from her? Jake Baxter stood in the front office, staring at an envelope delivered to him. 450 Yukon Lane, Seldovia, Alaska. It couldn’t be…could it? So surprised, he even asked if the administrator would check if this was for someone else. Nope, it was for him. Why in the world would she write something to him? Hadn’t she moved on with life? Jake thought moving to North Dakota; 2,697 miles away from home would break him free of his past, but apparently he was mistaken. His parents, the parties, the careless living, Jake wanted everything forgotten, lost in time. For it all to be nothing more than a memory, never to be remembered would’ve been a miracle. Unfortunately, the universe didn’t like to listen to Jake’s wishes. Saying thanks to the lady at the desk, he made his way out of the office, carrying the letting in his nervous hands.
He didn’t want to open it and technically didn’t have to open it. So, in the time that he was debating whether to tear open to the envelope and read the letter, the black haired student wandered around the school courtyard. Birds sang their melodic yet annoying morning song, a gentle breeze blew all around, making the newly budded tree leaves sway gracefully. It was perfect. After a long while of practically walking in circles, Jake stopped dead in his tracks. Just open the damn thing. The tall student couldn’t take it anymore, and soon, curiosity took over. Finding a bench, Jake sat down and gave a long sigh. Here goes nothing.
With ease, he opened the envelope and unfolded the neatly folded letter. Although it was just a letter, he felt as if his heart was about to pound out of his chest. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Jake looked off into the distance, staring at a pair of finches playing among the trees. started to rethink his decision. No, it was too late to turn back now. Looking back to the letter, he knew it would be better if he just got it over with. It was a handwritten letter, no doubt from a girl and the cursive was so authentic that it was almost difficult for Jake to decipher. The letter read:
(In the orginal doc,the letter is in cursive)
Dear Jake,
It’s been a long time since you’ve left, I honestly considered the fact that you might come and say hello once or twice, though my consideration that you would care for someone else’s feelings was all for nothing. I tried to stay optimistic, I really did. I waited and waited for a letter to come in the mail, but it never came. Truthfully, I have no idea why I’m sending this letter, and I hate to admit it, but life isn’t the same without you. I thought that you leaving would help me forget about everything we had, but really, it’s just making things worse. I know you might not even read this, but if you do, read all of it. Just so you know, writing this letter is extremely painful, but it’s been hanging over my head forever, so I just need to get it over with.
I miss you Jake, probably more than I should. Not just you, but the old times, our times. When we used to hang out on the mountain or go dogsled racing. Granted, we aren’t little kids anymore, but don’t you miss any of it? School has been extremely boring without your cockiness, and although Johnny is trying his best to be the class clown, no one can ever top you. Even Mrs. Clark seems pretty down in the dumps this year. Not only school, but our street is lonely and silent without the sounds of ruckus and laughter. Remember when we tipied Mr. Albert’s house and almost got caught? I don’t think he’ll ever forgive us, no matter how many plates of cookies we give him to fill his pudgy stomach.
I doubt you want to hear about this, but nobody's seen or heard from your dad since you’ve left. No one really cares about that jerk, but it’s human nature to be curious and when the house went dark for more than a week, we had to wonder where he was. Of course Jason wanted to explore the house and the rest of us didn’t really have a choice. It was either follow him or look like a bunch of sissies. I’d always thought your house was a ray of sunshine on our street, but dark and a abandoned, it was a legit haunted house. We made it down to the basement and to our surprise, everything was covered in clothes and dust. We would’ve explored more, but there was a loud sound that came from the roof and none of us cared that much to stick around. Your dad may have been a mad scientist, but I think that with you and your mother gone, he had nothing left. I mean, even mad men need something to love, that is, if he ever truly loved you.
My parents were throwing a garage sale, and wanted me to go through my stuff. Although I have tons of stuffed animals that are sitting in a box, I could never get rid of them, so I decided to look at more random and less important boxes. The thing is, they weren't random. While shuffling through them, I came across some of our old video tapes! Honestly, I don’t have a clue in the world as to why we used that old video camera when we had phones. Guess it was a good thing though, or I might not have found this box of horribly wonderful items. Starting to watch them, I began to wonder what happened to the town’s glory days. One of the videos was when you illegally entered yourself in the dogsled race and ended up winning, although you got in trouble afterwards. Now it seems as though everything here is old and broken down or abandoned. It is a pretty small town that’s been around forever, but still, I can’t help think that if the council gave some effort and money, everyone could spruce this place up a bit. After what seemed like ages of watching those tapes over and over, it gave me a spark of muse to write this letter. You are always on my mind, which I don’t think is a good thing, and writing this letter is helping me get everything off my chest.
There is so much more I could write about, but writing it all at once might not be the best thing. Knowing you personally, there might even be the chance that you’re dead and will never read this. You might even be getting wasted in a club as I write this, who knows. Speaking of the unknown, that’s what I hate about our world, or to be more specific, our human nature. People can be deeply in love with someone, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty facts, they never really knew them. No matter what happens to the world around us, if we childhood friends or something more, I love you Jake, I always will. With all that’s gone on in our meaningless lives, I know that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I wish I knew what that reason was.
Hope to see you soon, Mr. Alaskan Guy.
Love, Lucy
Sitting on the bench with her letter in his hands, a tear found its way to his flushed face and soon, more followed. Dammit Lucy, always making me feel guilty. What ever happened, he loved Lucy, and always would. Quite frankly, he had no idea why he agreed to transfer to this school in the first place. Mother would’ve wanted it. Accidentally killing his mother instead of his selfish father, he knew keeping her wishes alive was the least he could do. She always wanted what was best for me. Jake thought he’d left his transgressions back in Alaska, but reading Lucy’s letter, he started to rethink his despondent ways of living.
Could he really go back home? Although this was school, Jake was somewhat happy here. Cute girls, guys to spar with, Jane. Jane… a girl whom he loved dearly but she didn’t share the same feelings. The one girl that he actually took the time to show his affection for instead of a one night stand, didn’t like him! Geez, the world really is messed up. Why. It was a pretty simple question. Why does she not like me? The tall student wondered, wiping his red and stinging eyes. He could’ve asked explainable questions all day, but the better question should have been: Why did he, of all people fall in love with such an odd girl? There were tons of fish in the sea and Jake wondered if he was too hasty to cast out his feelings.
Usually Jake’s reputation was being a rough and tough guy, spending his days in the weight room, smoking and bullying kids. But the truth was, all he wanted was someone to share his life with. Someone to exchange interesting conversations with, someone to wake up in the morning next to and say “I love you.” Honestly, it really wasn’t that must to ask, and for some reason, it seemed as though it was the most difficult thing in the world to achieve.
Love, such an odd philosophical meaning. A few years ago, Jake could’ve care less about love, but growing up, he realized it was a commodity everyone needed. He may have seemed like a total douche at times, but in the end, his only mistake was to love too much.
