Ebony
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Join date : 2012-12-28
Age : 29
 | | Subject: Alicia's Diary Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:27 pm | |
| 3/23/2033
Dear Diary,
I suppose I can call you that, right? It does seem rather cheesy, but its also a formality of some sorts...
I'm going to be very honest with you, Miss Diary, I'm feeling very uncertain about this school. At first it seemed like a good idea, but I'm feeling very homesick. I miss my Papa and my Mama. I miss all my friends and the fresh ocean breeze, all the pretty parades and playing football with my little brother. I knew that I'd be giving up a lot coming here. I had thought that it'd be for the better, but now I'm not so sure...
Don't get me wrong, I've met a few, very nice people... Scilene. And that Oliver sir who had helped me... but on the other hand...
Oh, dear. I'm almost certain it's all over the school by now. Rumors spread like wildfire here just like anywhere else. I suppose that's one thing that never changes, human nature and the need to gossip.
On my first day of school, while I was waiting out in the entrance with many other students, a boy approached me. At first, I was rather nervous simply because I didn't know any of these people here. What were they like? Were they different, weird? Well, looking back on those thoughts, I feel rather silly - If they are all weird, then I must be just as strange, yes? But my fear was what it was. The boy turned out to be rather kind, though - certainly a bit off, but still kind. It didn't get too terribly awkward until... Well, his pants ripped, revealing a tail. Of all things! Really, I wouldn't have minded - and if this was his uncontrollable gift, I surely didn't want to make a big deal and embarrass him further.
My only objection was when he asked me to take his clothes and his things out into the secluded forest so that he may change. A rather strange request, especially since we weren't on all that personal of a level having just met, but I had supposed it was alright since he really had no other option; however, when he asked me back to the dorms... It was thing I started feeling rather uncomfortable and insisted on leaving, joining the others again. He seemed rather saddened by my refusal and I felt bad, so I offered that we go out for coffee to know each other a little better. After all, I wouldn't want to turn down the prospect of finding a new friend.
(If you hadn't noticed, I'm rather reluctant to say his name. Even think it, really. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and you will understand later why.)
The meeting itself was rather fine, though I think I was a little late. He seemed rather shy and jumpy, for reasons I didn't quite understand at the time. He told me a bit about his gift and his family - and I was inclined to listen, a bit eager to learn more about him - That is, until his tail showed up again. It was rather unfortunate and he insisted we leave before I even finished my drink. Once again, it wouldn't have been so bad... That is, if he hadn't invited me to the rooms again. I don't want to think in a brash manner, but my mother always did tell me there were few reasons young men wanted to invite ladies into their bedrooms - some reasons far more animal-like and predictable than others. Once again, I insisted we part ways.
Our third, and hopefully final, meeting was seemingly by mistake - and on our fourth day of school... Be sure to remember that!
I was sitting in the conservatory, practicing my powers. I'm not entirely sure if this is the proper way to practice, but as I do it - I sit back and let myself start dreaming, until a certain dream comes along. I know it's different from the others because it has a certain... realistic impulse to it, and a strong feeling of De Javu (if that's how you spell it). After such, I will draw the vision on a scene of paper. I'm not exactly a great artist - certainly not like the masterful ones I've seen in Autumn - but when I look back at my drawings, it'll trigger memories; and help me remember what I've seen.
Well, this time... It was rather strange... I saw a girl I hardly knew... Sorta. I didn't really see her. She was a blur, which was rather strange for me - but the me in the moment didn't seem to mind. I saw ... the boy - looking at me, rather flush - and I kissed this girl on the cheek!
I was rather embarrassed by the vision at the time. What good would this do me? However, not a few moments later, the boy walked up to me. I quickly tried to be polite, not wanting to brush off my new friend, but then the strangest thing occurred. He confessed! And not just saying he liked me, he loved me! This girl he had hardly knew for but a few days... I'm not even sure he knew my last name!
And this... This is where I really begin to question myself.
I saw a few options. One. I could accept his confession - which was the the very last choice on my list... Loving a boy a just met! The thought!
Two. I could turn him down - but I saw the seriousness in his eyes. He wouldn't go give up that easily, I had thought. (And oh, dear... was I right...)
Three. I could simply walk away, but that would be terribly rude... And there was also the issue of his stubborn nature, as with the second option...
Then it suddenly clicked in my mind - my vision from before! I looked right over and saw her, Evelyn, right where she was. And I did what I felt I had to do - walked over and kissed her; essentially proclaiming my complete disinterest in him - and practically the entire male sex as well.
I first question my motives behind my vision. How does it work exactly... Now, if I envisioned myself kissing Evelyn (And it is quite sad how easily I can speak of that) - does that meant it was fate to be? Or was my vision so easily subjectable? Could I have simply seen it coming and chosen a completely different thing to do, and have the future I foresaw changed by the slight of my hand? Was it unavoidable? Normally, I doubt I would ever do such a thing that I had done to Evelyn... So, I did it basically because I saw it.
Did I unintentionally advise myself to do this? ... I'm confusing myself at this point. I doubt you would understand either, Diary.
Another issue I face is ... Well ... Because of this incident, I have the entire school believing for certain that I'm a lesbian! Oh, dear. Its laughable, but terribly awkward... If I am to be perfectly honest, Diary, I'm not entirely sure of who I'm inclined to love. I don't hope this causes too much trouble in the future... But then again, it shouldn't. I'm not here for love, I'm here to learn.
Anyways, Evelyn had fainted because of me - and it was only right that I took her to the infirmary to see that she was cared for. Yet, even though my "revelation and rejection" had thrown him to tears, he insisted on following me... And not even help carry Evelyn, might I add.
A nice boy brought her to a cot. I felt rather nervous this entire time because even when my back was turned, I felt this boy's gaze burning into me. It made me very uncomfortable... I was starting to feel very uncomfortable around him, period. This strange boy who said he loved me so soon... I felt, well to be honest, rather stalked... To make matters worse, when Evelyn woke up, I spoke to her on her bedside, to see if she would be alright. He actually leaned over to me and whispered in my ear that he still felt the same way, and that he wasn't giving up on me. The nerve! Such a disgusting manner! And at someone's bedside none-the-less! It was also just so... creepy...
The first feeling I essentially felt was fear. And shock. I also felt rather sick and confused. I don't know exactly what happened those few moments, all I knew is that I had wanted to get out of there as soon as possible! And so I left Evelyn with the nurse boy and made for the door quickly, but he caught up and stopped me. I really should've kept walking, but some part of me wanted to stop - maybe I had thought if I smoothed things over for the moment, he would leave me alone.
No. No, it didn't work that way. He said he thought I hated him. I said we needed space to try to clear things out.
Then, he tried to kiss me. Kiss me.
I felt extremely sick at that point and slapped him, pushing him away. This was all just so much, I started shaking - almost crying; I had no idea what to do, Diary... If not to make matters worse, he bended down in front of me and asked to beat him in punishment. I couldn't even fathem that... He looked like a helpless little dog - one that already considered me his master. And I found that simply sick. It was at that point, I wanted him away from me, and certainly to never see him again.
That boy walked in then - I ran and hid behind him, to try and get rid of this wolf man, to protect me. He shifted. He went on something about his clan and how none of his behavior was his fault. I was scared and angry at the time, though. I hardly remember what he said because I didn't want to listen. After he finally left, I wasn't sure what to do. I just wanted to be alone and so I said thanks to the stranger and found some place to cry it out.
I don't ever want to go through something like that again, Diary.
This has been a very rough week. I don't know what to expect. Could I handle life here, especially since this is only the beginning?
I was sorted into the Summer house, which seem to be full of friendly, nice people. I'm warming up to it, but really, I'm just relieved that I'm not sharing a room with him. I think I'd have to pack my bags and leave then.
Hopefully, soon, I'll have reached the point that I can leave this entire dreadful week behind me...
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