The Last Day [CLOSED]

Her mouth hung open, the words stuck in her throat and tongue twisted. It was like sandpaper, dry and hoarse as any sound she tried to make was deafened and destroyed. Goddammit... Slowly, she bit her lip, shifting uncomfortably in her place. Why did he insist on trying to help her or bother with it? His own, stupid, futile effort -- she didn't plan on saying anything back. There was no reason for him to try and shoulder her problems, none at all.  No point in hoping for anything.

It wasn't a big deal.

Who cares about sleep? She'd be fine without it, but that would mean she wouldn't necessarily able to go anywhere. It wouldn't be fair for him to deal with how tired she was... it wouldn't be fair for him to constantly hear her screaming just because of a stupid dream. Why the hell was making one choice so hard? This shouldn't be such a big deal. Absentmindedly, Lamia muttered under her breath, "I-I'll live..." Magic still didn't have to figure it out; maybe he'll manage to piece it all together, but that was unlikely. "Y-y-you can leave... i-if you r-r-really want. I-I'm j-j-just holding you back f-for n-n-nothing."

Another goddamn smile. She didn't care if he could tell the lies between her teeth. The more he asked, the worse it would get for him. He didn't need to find out about something so trivial and dumb... it was her problem - not his. So she just had to smile.

He didn't bother to look up at the girl, or respond to her for a while.. Magic had so many thoughts going through his head at the moment.. A slightly creepy smile made it's way onto his face but it quickly vanished. "Heh.. No.. You don't want me to leave.. Because if I leave then bad things will happen.." He said kind of softly. It would have been difficult for the winter girl to hear, but she could still hear it if she really wanted to hear it. What was wrong with him at the moment? He didn't even know why that came out of his mouth.. But it was true.. If he left he would most likely go find Laine, and the two would either get into a bunch of trouble like old times, or end up smoking together, or drinking together.. And if they drank together, then they would cause fights and get into trouble.. and probably end up in jail and probably get bailed out like old times. Yeah.. She wasn't holding him back for nothing.. She was keeping him from getting into trouble..

There it was, the awkward silence that she knew so well. They were the same kind where she would only speak to others if she bumped into them out of politeness, and try and make small talk as well as feel that need to run. Like she needed to escape and let the adrenaline fill her body, screaming at herself to move. Like she was tied to some carriage and being dragged somewhere else. Like someone had shoved her to get going so they could get to their place.

It never really seemed like that with Magic until now. Everything before was the sort of silence that was warm and comforting, and she didn't have to speak to let her point get across. He could sort of just tell that she didn't want to say anything more and never bothered her about it. But now? First, he tried to squeeze the truth out of her when she didn't want to, and now he wasn't speaking just because she tried to get him to leave for his own good. Nothing right came when she told people about herself. Never was, never will be.

And she finally got her answer.

Lamia at first wanted to bite back - Yes, I do -, but she kept her mouth shut as she listened to him carefully, almost straining her ears to try and hear him. Why so quietly? What bad things would happen? Magic was starting to get over those bad habits, already... she didn't do much to help him, but she knew - she knew it was starting to happen, slowly. He couldn't have anything on his mind, did he? That's being selfish. Think for a few moments, her subconsciousness told her. That was what she wound up doing.

Magic liked to fight. He used to be in a gang. Laine was a large influence on his life, and the older boy smoked. He couldn't get rid of the lure that baited him into combat at times. There were times when he couldn't control himself. How did I forget this? You stupid, fucking idiot.

Taking a deep breath, Lamia forced the words out of herself, "Y-y-you sh-sh-shouldn't leave then... b-but th-there's n-n-nothing wrong."

Yeah... she just had to keep saying that, to reassure herself. And to convince him.

Unless you remember what I said before back at the gym... the only time I revealed anything.

Her grip around the necklaces tightened.

Magic did remember what she had told him after the incident at the gym. He would probably never forget it, but he didn't hate her for her actions or anything like that. He couldn't because he had almost killed people himself.. probably had a part in a person's death at some point.. but none that he knew of..

The boy walked over to the table, and placed both of his hands on it, kind of leaning on his arms. One hand lifted and rubbed his face a little bit. He was trying to calm down. He needed to calm down. He took a couple deep breaths letting the tension leave him.. He should just probably leave the girl alone.. that may be the best option.. grabbing his bag out of the chair that sat next to the table, the boy walked back out onto the balcony. He was just going to keep tempting himself wasn't he?

Goddammit, she did it again. She fucking screwed up everything. Again. Just time and time again, it kept happening. Why the hell couldn't she do anything right for once?

He kept pacing around, unable to stay in one place. Lamia was tempted to walk over there and to talk to him, but, no. She'd only make things worse, wouldn't she? Ah, god, this was such a fucking, sick joke that life wanted to string around her, and she fucking fell for it like the idiot she was. If she had only forced herself to stay awake longer, it would've been fine. If she had actually managed to do something right, this wouldn't have happened. Everything was always her fault. A walking bad luck charm with arms, eyes, and legs - how did she even think about hoping this would be alright? None of this was fair for Magic... he shouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place.

She shouldn't have gone out to the forest that day. She shouldn't have tried to follow him later on. She shouldn't have tried to stop him in the gym. She shouldn't have done a fucking thing. It would've been better for everyone else that way; none of them would have to deal with how messed up she was. Let alone who she actually was.

Ignore that for now... Taking a sharp intake of air, Lamia swung her legs off the bed, following him to the balcony. He wasn't exactly able to stop her from doing that much. Sure, she was a complete pushover whenever it came to what people requested she do for them. But when they asked her to because they wanted it for the betterment of her own health? Hell no. She was healthy enough that she could walk around like a normal person, right? Maybe she passed out more often than not, but most people didn't know that and just think she fell asleep. Besides, she never was an early riser or anything anyway - the sun was too bright and she hated going outside.

The first thing to hit her when she reached him was the reeking stench of smoke that had lingered there. It was faint... but it was definitely there. She knew that. It wasn't some silly imagination of hers.

A few coughs escaped her, and Lamia turned to him, a worried look stretching across her face. Was this why he was up? No wonder he had gone into the shower. "A-a-are you... u-uhm, a-alright?" She should've known that this might happen... "Y-y-you had y-your own n-n-nightmare before m-me... I s-saw you t-t-tossing and turning." Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned that. Now he knew that she had literally fallen asleep only minutes before he had woken up. You're seriously messing this up. Just shut up.

She would if Magic would calm down a bit - it was her fault that he was like this, right now.

He should have know she would have smelled it... He sighed.. Even the wind didn't help all to much.. But she didn't bring it up. Which was kind of good he guessed. "Yeah I did have a nightmare.. but I don't remember what it was.. It faded soon after I woke up.." He said to her being kind of quiet with the whole thing. He wasn't exactly going to bring up the smell that slightly lingered in the air. He would only say something if she did. But there was no hope in her not finding out from the way she coughed.

And no. This was in no way all of Lamia's fault. Magic was the one who brought it up.. But he knew Lamia probably blamed herself.. He blamed himself. Most of this was his fault in his mind. He pressed a bit to hard.. He just wanted to help in a way.. He even knew he was never good at those kinds of things.. Why did he even try?

"O-oh..." That was the only answer she could come up with at the time, the only words that wanted to leave her mouth. Her lungs felt stuffed with the vile smoke, and she couldn't help but keep coughing. Goddammit, her body was that fucking weak? Turning her face away, Lamia's eyes hovered towards the stars that were barely visible now that the sun was slowly starting to rise above the horizon. With the day coming, she was almost positive she was going to faint again, and silently regretted that she didn't go back to sleep when she could. No, you shouldn't have. The screams? Right... good point. This entire thing sucked. It really did, and she had no actual way of fixi--- Oh, right. The necklaces.

Wait, what the hell was she thinking?

This was a terrible time to do that. A really, really bad time. But that was her only saving grace her and as her mind searched for options, it was the only one she could grasp straws at; still didn't make it a good choice because whatever her own mind thought up of was always going to make things worse. Awkwardly fumbling with her hands, she tried to muster up whatever courage she had in her to just try and talk. Okay... what had Kearn told her after the incident? Make eye contact, stand straight, and try and smooth out your voice. That sounded easy enough... Who was she kidding? Those were the things she couldn't do for the love of her own life. The words came out rather quickly, slurred, and softer than normal, "U-u-uhmmm, Mm-magic... I-I... u-uhm..." Come on - this couldn't be that fucking hard. "I-I j-j-just uhm... w-wanted to... u-uhmm... I-I-I mean..." Her voice trailed off into nothingness, and Lamia cursed herself for failing.

I can't even talk. What good am I?

The boy looked over at her but didn't exactly turn his head, more like looked at her through the corner of his eyes. "Hm?" He said when she stopped talking. "What is it?" He wasn't exactly angry anymore, he was kind of relaxed, and calm. It was still early, and he kind of got easily irritated in the morning. Even so he kept waking up early.. It just how things worked.

He did noticed that Lamia kept coughing. Maybe they shouldn't be out here.. it was bad for her health.. He already kind of messed up his when he smoked earlier. "Maybe we should head inside?" He suggested to the winter girl. Though he kind of assumed she would say no, probably thing that her health isn't important. He still kind of wanted to smoke again, but he knew he shouldn't.

Golden, doe-like eyes flickered restlessly under uneven bangs from Magic to the necklaces to Magic again. Immediately, a small smile crept its way up her race forcibly at the suggestion. Go inside? For what? Just because the air was a little more stuffy than normal? This wasn't that bad. She could still breath, couldn't she? Yeah. Easy-peasy. So easy that it took her a few moments to realize she was coughing again, pain bursting through her chest like an arrow. "I-I-I don't m-mind staying o-out here..." Lamia murmured, her voice harshly louder than she had hoped.

At least he didn't seem mad at her anymore.... Or maybe he was still really annoyed by her constant presence and didn't want to talk about anything. Probably why he asked if she wanted to go back inside - in case he was tempted to push her off the balcony. Lamia couldn't blame him if he did, though. She honestly wanted to leap off and land with the grace of a pile of cinder blocks, but that wouldn't be fair to her family. And she would be defying her only actual life purpose that fate laid down for her. Okay... what did she want to do again?

Thing in your hand, you moron.

Oh, yeah. How hard could it be to give someone something? It was just sort of saying that you wanted to thank them and hand them a present. Yeah, super easy. Shouldn't be a problem. She survived him punching her with sound, right? Definitely not as bad or as big of a deal. "U-uhm... c-c-could you b-bend down a l-l-little...?" Lamia couldn't deny that she was shorter than him, the top of her head only matching up to his neck if she went on her toes.

It wasn't that she couldn't reach up to his neck with just her hands... it was more that she didn't want to accidentally fall over him. Again. Like yesterday. She felt the familiar warmth on her face, her cheeks dusted with a rosy red tint. This wasn't anything special or anything, let alone a really big deal...

... So why did she have this small suspicion that it was?

He wasn't just suggesting for her to go inside. He would have gone with her. He was just concerned that was all. If she was coughing like this when the smoke was decently gone by now, he wondered how she would do with someone standing next to her and smoking. But it seemed like she was set on staying out here..

Her next question kind of surprised him? What was she going to do? "Oh.. Sure." He said bending over slightly. He couldn't help but wonder what she was going to do. Little did he know that he was going to receive a pretty great gift.

Butterflies and blushes, her stomach tying itself into all sorts of knots as her heart began to pound against her chest, and suddenly, she felt dizzy or almost like she was going to faint again. She chalked it down to the stupid smoke that was in the air - it couldn't be anything super serious. That'd be funny... what a great joke. But she'd never really been good at these things. Her hands were beginning to shake. Why the hell was she so nervous? Couldn't she just accept that he'd actually like it or something? No, no you can't. Of course, she couldn't. Yeah, take a gift from the one girl who could kill someone within seconds. She probably fucking poisoned it or something or made it explode the moment it detected a new presence. That's what anyone would think if they actually knew her. And whatever trust they had in her would be crushed. It'd be a lie to say Lamia was scared to have that happen.

It was just her way of saying thank you without having to actually say the words... At least, that's what she had wanted it to be. The more she lingered on all of this, the less likely she was going to go through with it. Taking a deep breath, her hands brought themselves up and around his neck, a finger opening the latch. Once it was secure in its place, she snatched herself away, edging a small distance away. That was dangerous... really, really dangerous. You could've messed up there. Not fucking helping, voice.

She couldn't calm her nerves. What was she supposed to do now? How did this wind up happening, anyway? Should she say a small monologue? Ask him if he was fine with it? Apologize for troubling him for something impractical? Just tell him 'thank you'? Lamia drew her arms in, offering only the tiniest of smiles. It was a nice smile - or at least she hoped - but it was queasy, nervous, and a moment later, her eyes found their way to the her feet as they awkwardly shuffled themselves. One hand still held her heirloom, clutched and hidden away tightly within her grasps. Out of desperation, the grip tightened for comfort. As though it would get rid of that anxiety or fear of rejection. As though she would feel better about this entire thing.

Deep breaths. Calm down. In. Out. In. Out.

...

Fuck that.

Now resting on Magic's chest was the very pendant she had been working on for so long. The same one that he had caught her passed outside for. Caught around a silver chain with a glistening finish, each detail was carved out in precision and care. Lamia had to admit that she wasn't very adroit, but somehow... it worked out. Somewhat. The actual charm itself was a light steel, shaped peculiarly like a clock gear, the innermost portion to the left jagged in equal measures. Two tiny glass-like stones were carefully placed on the right. But one thing stood out the most: the tear-like sapphire gem in the middle, as though it were floating and detached from the rest of the necklace. It glinted like the stars and glowed like the bubbles in a lava lamp, warmth practically radiating from it. A jewel that had been taken away from her own earrings, ones that she had worn since a child. She didn't regret giving it away.

Her eyes clenched themselves shut, as though it would protect her from seeing his answer or anything he might bite back at her. Wiping her sweaty palms on her thighs, Lamia bit her lip, hoping to gods that she wasn't blushing. Out of instinct, her smile widened slightly and she let her bangs overshadow her eyes. One hand reached for her hood, pulling it over before she turned her face away. You're trying way too hard to hide, Oh, shut the fuck up subconsciousness. Half in an attempt to distract herself, her fingers fumbled with one another and she could only feel her face burning harder.

Stupidstupidstupidstupidstupid.

She probably shouldn't have done this. It was a really bad idea in the first place. Why did she make a selfish decision here? What, did she think it would increase her chances of having someone stick by her? That was laughable. So laughable that the thought made her almost want to cry. Hopefully he wouldn't try and get a good look at her expression... Maybe he'll like it...? Ah god, probably not. Let's just pretend she never thought about that. She wasn't fooling anyone when she knew that this was a rather measly, poorly done gift. It didn't matter how long she took on it.

"I u-uhm... s-s-sort of... uhm..." she started quietly, scarcely louder than a whisper. "W-wanted t-t-to... uhm... H-how am I-I supposed t-to s-say this...?" It wasn't a lie. Verbalizing emotions was more difficult than it was worth. Goddammit. "A-ah... n-n-never mind. F-forget I s-s-said anything...!" Awkwardly, she giggled, ducking her head down lower.

I messed up again...

Magic couldn't exactly see what Lamia was putting around his neck at the moment because of her arms, but when she finally stepped back, and the boy could stand up straight again, he was finally able to see what it was. He looked down at his chest to see a pendant hanging from the chain that hung around his neck. ... And he was still shirtless... he felt a small blush rise on his face, but he quickly pushed it away to look at the pendant.

The boy grabbed the charm in his hand and started looking at it. It was really well crafted, he looked at every detail that was put into it. It was aslo very pretty. The blue stone that sat in the middle tied the whole thing together. The whole shape reminded him of a clock gear. He flipped it over and saw both of his names etched into the back of it. He couldn't help but wonder how long she had spent on it.

Niw he felt like a dick.. He just caused her a lot of issues, and she turns around and gives him a beutiful necklace. He didn't really know what to say. The only thing he could say was, "Thank you Lamia, its beautiful..." He said in a soft tone that people often used when they were kind of too amazed for words. Should he actually say something about what he was doing earlier? To make up for being so rude earlier? He didnt know.. he would rather not admit that he had.

Yeah, of course he had declined the gift and was probably going to rip it off and throw out down towards the city to some unsuspecting pers--- Wait, what?

Her mind was working at a sluggish pace like a sloth trying to reach its arms and swing to the next tree, and Lamia blinked, unable to process what exactly he had said. For a few moments, she believed she had heard him incorrectly or that this was another sick joke that he wanted to play on her. But, that never happened, with the way his voice trailed off and how he still held onto it. Could it really be possible? For someone to actually bother trying to accept her? Don't jump to conclusions. It was too early to decide that, too early to truly believe it for now. That fear of hoping was growing, flourishing inside her chest, and suddenly, she had every urge to just leap over the balcony and pretend this never happened; she wound up doing something completely different.

Lost for words, hazy gold eyes widened and her mouth hung open, the words stuck in a jumbled mess inside of her, the fluttering in her chest rapidly increasing as more butterflies stormed through, desperately flapping their wings in a race. A blank expression was plastered on her for what felt like an eternity, and once she knew that Magic wasn't just messing with her - sort of -, she gave him a fleeting glance. Her face brightened as a the corners of her lips twitched into a genuine smile. Her head cocked slightly to the side, partially resting on her shoulder, and Lamia couldn't help it. She felt relieved. Overjoyed. Accepted. Welcomed. Cared for. Was it weird to be this happy over something so trivial? Probably, but right now, she didn't care about that.

All good things come to an end, though. But as long as she could remember this, she'd be satisfied. A memory that she could hold dear and treasure for however much time she had left in her. As if suddenly realizing her peculiar behavior, her face immediately went red, and she turned away, awkwardly stammering out, "I-I-I'm r-really gl-glad... uhm... th-that you l-like it... I-I w-was w-working on it... u-uhm... e-earlier... a-and..." She didn't realize that she admitted to this project being the reason why she was passed out outside. "I-I f-f-feel like I o-owe you. F-f-for everything y-you've done f-for me so f-far..." Her tongue was twisting itself in all sorts of ways and she couldn't get the words out properly. Why was she always stuttering? It was so stupid... she just wanted to speak clearly like every other normal person.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry i-it's... uhm... not m-m-much..."

He couldn't stop looking at the necklace it was so pretty. He want to memorize every detail of it, like he was never going to see it again, even though it was going to stay in it spot for a while. Then she started speaking again after a moment of silence. This was the reason why she was passed out on the balcony. This was a thank you for everything? He hadn't done to much.. at least not compared to what she had done for him anyway.. She even took a hit from him and didn't pass out..

He let go of the necklace and looked up at her. "Lamia, this is means a whole lot to me.." This was the first time he had gotten a gift in years, and this time it actually meant something to him, than some dumb thing. "This is a whole lot more than you know.." He said to her after her statement of it not being much. He looked away from the girl. "And sorry.. about lying to you earlier.. I was smoking.." He said softly, keeping his gaze away from her..

"...R-r-really?" she breathed out like the tiniest of whispers, the wind drowning out her voice as though she had spoken in the middle of a crowd. Ah, God, he was just joking with her. Funny joke... Super duper funny. This pendant meant a lot to him? Yeah, right. Magic's probably gotten much better gifts from far more significant people. Laine came to mind - he basically gave Magic a life before he came to the Academy. Anything she tried to do was complete garbage in the end. "I-I-It isn't m-much, th-though..." In the end, it seemed almost amateurish in comparison to what anyone else in her family could make, no matter how much she tried.

Sorry? For what? That he was smoking? Lamia would've told him it wasn't great for his health. But she shouldn't really be talking when there was a sip every now and then... They were terrible habits. Life almost seemed like a hopeless, desolate place at times and she wouldn't deny how many chances she would take to suicide. "N-no... uhm... I-It's f-f-fine." As if fate wanted to prove her point wrong, Lamia started coughing again, poorly disguised pain spread across her face. Goddammit. Right when things were starting to look decently better.

She turned her head away, pulling the hood down further. That feeling of being restricted and bound by stupid physical limits... They shouldn't exist. Magic shouldn't worry about her, he shouldn't. Not now. She had no right to accept his help or to have any of his concern. It wouldn't be fair at all. Not for him. Not for anyone.