Hanging out [For Echo]

Perhaps conversation wasn't such a great idea after all. "Th-that's ni--" her question was immediately cut off by the sound of something heavy slamming onto the ground. Lamia stared down at the floor and stuffed her hands into her pockets as her sentence trailed off into nothing, her eyes widening when she heard his answer. To be honest, she only asked because the words had spilled out and it was the only thing that had been on her mind lately. Was that a really weird thing to ask? "Hey, why do people avoid us?" it was the question she had always asked her brother. And she never liked the answer. "Because they're scared of us... because we're different." Well, it seemed like an average question at this school, but... Stupidstupidstupidstupid...

Lamia nodded absentmindedly with a dazed smile. So Magic didn't misunderstand where she was coming from or thought it was odd. That was alright... Very alright. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, though her entire face was obscured from the shadows her bangs brought when she had her head down like that, maybe it was fine... She wanted to ask another question, but bit it back and fiddled with her hands.

It was getting late, wasn't it? Most would be wanting to stay up and take advantage of the lack of classes recently. But then again, most wouldn't want to be spending a night talking with a slow-talking, stuttering, and socially awkward girl either, and Magic would probably be no different... if he did, it would probably be more out of obligation.

Mulling over his response for a moment, Lamia shook her head. "I-I... u-uh... wh-what if we ch-changed th-then...?" she said hurriedly, before realizing her blunder as her past crept up into her mind. "I m-mean... I don't... r-really kn-know..." Oh this was awful.

Changed? Magic hadn't really thought of the possibility.. Even if he didn't have his power things would most likely be the same for him. The bullying still would have occurred... He most likely still would have put that kid in a near death experience. Still would have moved schools, still would have caused fights, broke bones, and made people lose a lot of blood. The only differences is that he would have been stuck with his mother. Stuck with her stupid habits, and prostitution. Stuck in that damn apartment. Magic would still be causing fights most likely.. Still getting into verbal fights with his mother.. He would have probably joined a gang at some point, and gotten killed in a fight..

Of course if She was talking about now then he wouldn't need to be here.. He would go back to his mother.. and of course it would just be a repetition of things once again. He would probably eventually be forgotten here, and by the friends he made. All the progress he made towards changing would be lost, so in someway he was grateful for his power.

Another sigh. "No.. I don't want to change.. Things would end up worse for me then they already are. I don't want to lose you, and many other people as friends. If I lost my power I would be going back home to the person I hate most in this world. My mother.. And that would cause me to go back to the way I used to be.." He said after considering his words for a moment. He liked hanging out with Lamia, no matter how much her mind said he didn't.

Well that was abrupt and forthright.

Lamia froze and blushed at the mention of him not wanting to lose her before shaking her head, a breathy giggle escaping as her cheeks reddened. "Heh... Y-you'd be b-better off n-not kn-knowing... the current me." she muttered, almost wincing as she remembered past events. "I-I n-never... um... w-wanted to change t-to this." Wow, she was being absolutely completely obvious about spilling her past. She'd killed her best friend, lost her physical strength, mentally crippled herself with a traumatic experience, and nearly killed two students at the school. And Katsuo... well... he was for another time. She'd tried to justify her actions after years of what happened, but it never worked. The conclusion was that she had been wrong the entire time.

With her spirits sinking and the little bit of confidence she had draining, Lamia drifted her gaze to her shoes, refusing to look Magic in the eye. "I-I'm not allowed t-to be h-happy... or normal." she said quietly. I don't know... can I trust him? To not be like the others? But of course. I mean, when hasn't it happened? Even the two that she had thought were closest to her at the school wound up hating her too. The girl drew in her arms, bringing her knees to her chest, and bit the bottom of her lip. Lamia didn't know why, but she was suddenly feeling more self-conscious and uncomfortable. "I don't... want to be at this school... I'd rather... be at home."

Where I can't mess up everyone else's lives.

He wasn't going to ask about her past or whatever that was causing her grief. He knew how people could feel about their past, and he was one of them. He hated what he had done. His hand gripped the fabric of his pants tightly, then let go. Why was he so tense? "I used to think the same thing.. about never being allowed to be happy, or to feel normal.. but things happened.. I discovered that I could change myself. You could change yourself if you want to, Lamia. If you changed into something you don't like then you can change you just have to try.. " He said the words softly. He was saying the words to her, but it also seemed like he was just trying to reassure himself that he could do this. He could be the kind person he wants to be.

He probably wasn't helping the girl one bit. She would probably continue being the same way she is. He would probably end up failing in the long run. He already failed once.. He let himself go back to the way he was in the fight with Hosa.. And Lamia probably saw that maybe. Well whats the harm in trying. He might help, he might not.

It wasn't very often that she looked back on her interactions with people she considered friends - it wasn't easy to either. But now that she thought about it, all of those easy smiles that Magic gave were confusing. He was a kind person, Lamia knew that. Yet... when watching the tournament, that was terrifying. To see that change, and how different he was compared to the fellow Winter she recognized and enjoyed being around. Did he really have the same worries as her? No doubts? Was she the only one who was really confused here? I'm probably going crazy... That devil-may-care attitude that he had - or maybe pretended he had - made her envious. Life would've been so much less complicated, and maybe that's why she was fine with being around him... for the most part.

Yet, he couldn't have been more different from her if he tried. With a small smile, she finally turned her eyes up to him. "Th-thank you..." she started, not quite sure where she was going to go with this. "But. Uh. I, uhm.... I-I d-don't think I c-c-can do that... I..." Lamia shook her head, bringing her knees closer to her, trying in vain to comfort and accept her rather pathetic defeat. "I-I'll never b-be strong enough f-f-for th-that..."

Because I can't be. I'm only known as fragile and weak and unable to do anything alone. Another soft giggle, trying to drive away the poisonous thoughts in her head. She really was useless.

Magic couldn't help but let out a sigh. He didn't really want to talk about this anymore, but at the same time he did. He wanted to help her, but he never really could help anyone could he? He was never good with people. Honestly he just mimicked what his brother did most of the time. Vincent was so much better with people than he was.

He looked away from the girl, and let his head sit on his hand which was resting on the arm of the couch. "Did you see the last battle of the tournament?" He asked her. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if she saw who he truly was. "I'm trying to change... I'm really trying.." He mumbled, not caring if Lamia heard or not. He wanted the mask he wore everyday, to become real. He wanted to be a person that could easily talk to others, like his brother, but that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. Not if he kept going back to his old self.

She had always wished for someone to talk to, to simply tell them how she felt. Still, she had always ran away and wanted them to leave whenever she had the opportunity. Lamia really felt awful for bringing this subject up. Her chin was tucked snuggly between her knees, and she was tapping her fingers rhythmically from their current position. If she could go to her room and get a drink... that'd be nice. All of her worries could disappear, if only for a moment. Getting high was better than moping around all day...

"I-I'm sorry I br-brought this up..." Lamia muttered softly, her eyes trying to stay firm on Magic. She never could make eye contact, could she? And if she did, everyone wanted to look away... Pursing her lips, she tore away her gaze and brought it back to the floor. It always was the floor - she had to look down on herself and everything else. Did she even care about what happened back then? Possibly, it was hard to tell. "A-at least y-you're trying... th-that's what counts..." Unlike me, she thought to herself silently.

It was a habit by now - she didn't want others to think about her feelings or let them be known. If they knew, they'd worry too much and she wasn't worth the effort... Lamia knew, she had little value and couldn't do much of anything. Yet, she still wanted at least someone, just one person, to understand her somehow. It was just convenient that Magic heard her... That's what she wanted to convince herself. It wasn't like he knew everything. It was just out of coincidence that he knew a bit... She really wanted to convince herself of that. They were both outsiders, so she didn't have to worry about anyone else finding out. That's all there is to it...

Magic shook his head. "No.. It's fine. I replied and brought up changing personality wise.. I am trying but I have failed numerous times. Everyone else has only saw the one time, you saw it twice, but there are more failures than that.." Magic said softly. "Trying doesn't count when failing can badly hurt someone."

With a sigh the boy stood from the couch, and walked over to the window. He didn't really want to look at her at the moment. He was afraid that she was scared of him or something. He really liked having her as a friend. Mason shook his head. "I broke bones, Lamia.. I had been almost taken to jail numerous times. When I fail, it could mean bad things for others.." He said softly again. He didn't dare look at her. He wasn't going to at least for a while.

While she was listening to Magic, Lamia had to keep thinking about how lucky he was compared to what she did. A couple of broken bones was nothing compared to bloody murder. Forcing a sympathetic smile, a voice in her head gave her one small reminder: Disregard your own feelings. Forget about what happened in the past to you. She wasn't very good at understanding how others felt, even if their pain may have been similar. Her words, maybe they weren't the best, but she tried to carefully orchestrate them together to the best effect she could. "I-I think y-you've changed a lot... since then." she started slowly.

"I-I'm sure you're a b-better person n-now..." Lamia muttered under her breath. He probably could hear her - he always did because of his power. She couldn't hide anything if she said anything stupid or dumb. It was one of the reasons she was so careful about speaking, but to be even more cautious with Magic around. "I-isn't th-that enough...?"

Isn't it enough that you're trying the best you can? Even if you failed, at least you picked yourself up and tried again...

He turned back around to face the girl that sat on the couch. His eyes were dull. He was tired. "Sometimes it is.. Sometimes it isn't. I think enough will be when I no long have the urge to hurt people for my own personal appeasement. I may be a better person at this moment, but it can all go away in an instant." Magic said. At this point he was getting a bit tired of talking about himself. He never liked it when it was about him.

Magic walked back over to the couch, and sat down. He looked at his arm for a second before leaning back on the couch letting his head rest against the top of the couch. He didn't know what to do anymore.. He still didn't mind that Lamia was here. He probably wouldn't ever mind.

Lamia knew she wasn't great at these sort of things. She couldn't socialize, so how would she be able to give any kind of advice? And what a hypocrite to top it all off. How many times has she tried to change? Not once. She was too scared of what would happen to everything around her: how many relationships would change, how everything in her life came together. That was why she didn't want to try, to try and pick herself up and walk again after that incident... It hurt, but she was fine with being in the shadows of her twin, who could do everything better than her. A painful smile stretched across her lips, but there was nothing she could say to tell Magic otherwise.

The words that had swam into her mind before... They seemed to give the wrong impression. Lamia closed her eyes, almost noting how stiff or maybe even tense the other Winter seemed. It didn't occur to her that he didn't like the spotlight, either. She really was terrible at considering how others felt. But now? Now, she wasn't sure what to say. Anything else she thought about discussing seemed too personal and probably would shift the focus back to Magic, again. So she kept her mouth shut. There was a nagging feeling that she'd make things worse than they already were.

Silence. Silence was good in most cases. Well it was kind of good for Magic, it let him have a little piece of mind, but Lamia was here. Silence may have not been good in her case, like it was for him. Maybe he should create some music or something. Something to entertain the two in the mean time. It would be good to get away from touchy subjects anyway. It would have to be a song he knew well.. Maybe he should just stick with piano melodies. Mason closed his eyes, and focused on the song carefully. Soon a piano sound filled the air.

ooc: song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfYl6_f2Mdg

There was just one thing Magic didn't figure out - she enjoyed silence because her mind could be at ease and she didn't have to think about what to say next. That was always a problem. Her mind had to keep thinking... What should she say afterwards? Was it the right thing to say? What would she say after that? And... what then? Lamia softly sighed, drinking in the sweet melodies that filled the dorm. He was lucky that he could simply use his power if he had no idea what else to say. It was so convenient. She hated the feeling, but she was jealous.

Envious that he could keep trying, no matter how many times he failed. Jealous that he could talk to people so easily. Envious of his attitude to not care about what others thought about him. Jealous of the way he could speak his mind so easily. It wasn't fair... They were so similar but so different. What was it that made him special? No, he's not special. You're just worthless.

It was a rather off-handed comment, but a simple observation. "I-it's g-getting l-late..." Lamia whispered softly, loosening her position until she was simply sitting in a normal position rather than curled up. "I-I'm sorry f-for st-staying over..."

Magic shook his head, keeping the music going some how. "It's fine Lamia. I told you, you can stay for as long as you want." He said. He honestly didn't know what to do at this point. He wanted to do something anything really, that could cause a conversation between the two of them. He could show her his room, but that would be kind of weird wouldn't it? Besides his room was kind of plain. There wasn't much to it. He didn't really care to decorate it. Meh. At least she was sitting normal instead of sitting in the ball thing.

Apart from the music that Magic had going in the background, Lamia could clearly hear the cicadas squealing outside and the gentle breeze brushing against the grass, as if all was well from the start. Her eyes floated to the empty wall in front of them, to the ceiling, and back to the ground. She was feeling light-headed and clammy at their rather close proximity, but ignored it when she got up onto her feet. "I-I need to r-repay you..." she began softly. "Uhm... I-I'll make dinner. Y-you deserve that much." Without waiting for an answer, Lamia walked away rather stiffly.

That was stupid of me. He'll get the wrong message...